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cameralikeagun

South Point, OH

Member Since 2007

Followers 140 Following 121

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Wednesday Oct 15, 2008

Oct 15, 2008
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I certainly feel as if I have no time for anything, anymore. Between work and school I feel like collapsing into a coma for about a week.
I'm half way through the quarter and I'm struggling with what I really want to be doing. I'm an education major. Art education. I've always thought it would be so much fun to teach other people to love and appreciate art as much as I do. I'm positive I'll end up staying on this track but there's always those moments deep down inside where I wish it were so much easler. That I could just open a studio and it's homefree from there.
God
I would love to have my own studio.
Another part of me wants to put a bottle of wine in my bag and hop a bus and smoke a bunch of cigarettes and paint and take pictures of gutters in the city and stumble on my feet.
That's definitely the artist in me talking.
I hate that everyone around me is growing up.
Don't get me wrong. I'm growing up with them... but...they're all getting married and having babies and getting their degrees and going to bed at 9pm each night.
I'm not interested.
I'm interested in finishing my degree. I'm interested in feeling respected as a good educator and good artist.
But
I'm also interested in not sleeping. And smoking. And speaking volumes with my photographs and getting paint all over my clothes at 3am spilling liquor on the floor not giving a shit being happy being reckless making it being what I want without the 'Great-American-Plan" pinned to my sleeve.
Getting older but staying young.
Why forget what it's like to live?

Don't get me wrong. I'm terrified of the future. Of the days to come.
I'm terrified of becoming too reckless.
I'm terrified of giving up.
I'm terrified of becoming boring.
I'm terrified of forgetting.
I'm terrified of....
lots of things.

You do what you think is right.




Class at 8am.
The next three days off work, always excellent.
I ordered my Halloween costume last night. =)



nikonphoto80:
I don't have time for anything and all I do is work.

I had no idea that you were an art education major, for some reason I thought you were a photo major.

Well then that is what you have to do, don't ever let anyone tell you how to live your life, "do what you love and fuck the rest", I have the same dream as you, but I don't want to educate people. I'm hopping I will start my business and then all will fall into place.

What are you going to be for Halloween?

Oct 15, 2008
nikonphoto80:
well you will have your own studio one day, I know you will and maybe I can come and see it, that would be cool.

that sounds like a great costume biggrin

I guess I feel like a fuck up because no one seem to ever want to be around me, like I never get to do anything with anyone, I feel like there has got to be something wrong with me, if I don't go out alone then I don't go out at all.

Oct 17, 2008

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