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calypso

San Diego

SG Since 2004

Followers 1777 Following 538

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Saturday Jul 09, 2005

Jul 9, 2005
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What is love?

Love to me in itself is indescribable, but if I were to describe what it means to be in love, my description would be this:

Devotion, complete and utter heartbreak at the idea of being without them, a fluttering heart and huge smile at the sight of them, a desire to be with them always, a willingness to do just about anything to make the relationship work, unwavering pride in being so lucky to have that person, a melting heart at their touch, etc.

I love him. I hate it, but I don't want to feel any other way.

How should one react when they've had their heart broken by the one they love?

I don't really know. Let me tell you a little bit about how I'VE been.

Wednesday I didn't really eat anything. Thursday I was feeling better and had soup for lunch. I went to Home Town Buffet with my step-dad. Friday, yesterday, my (ex)boy was being really affectionate in the morning. It freaked me out. I tried to have a little soup for lunch, but I wasn't really feeling it. I threw about half of it away.

Last night I talked to this chick he hooked up with. Apparently he had told her he was single. He had hung out with her a couple times before, even though he told me differently. She's been told I'm out of the picture and she'll be moving in when I'm gone. I asked her if they fucked, and she said, "I'm not getting into that." So, they fucked.

I tried to eat last night. I couldn't. I've tried to eat today, stew, and all I ate was the meat. I had to stop. I feel like I'm starving right now, but if I try to eat anything, I'll puke.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Does love/the relationship stand a second chance after the asshole cheated?

Fuck if I know. I wish I knew.

If, in fact, it does stand a second chance, what would make it work?

If he gives up the bullshit. No more fucking parties, unless I'm there. No more pot. Drinking in moderation, only. While I'm naturally nurturing, I only want to take care of him if he's sick and it's not alcohol-induced.

Will it work?

Despite everything, I want it to. But I don't know.


____________________________________________

I need to eat. But I can't. Maybe I should bathe.

"SLC Punk" is on right now. Good shit.

Love you guys.

kiss kiss kiss
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
marty_512:
I HEART that movie blackeyed
Jul 9, 2005
i_poop_too_much:
SLC, a depressing favorite....

I wouldn't give a cheater a second chance. He's wasted a first chance that many people won't get.

Methinks perhaps you are too enamored with the idea of finding and being in true love....perhaps it should come to you, that's typically the "best".

....but then, what do I know either?
Jul 10, 2005

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