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calypso

San Diego

SG Since 2004

Followers 1777 Following 538

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Sunday Feb 27, 2005

Feb 26, 2005
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So...Yeah. I was pretty happy about my set going up. Ecstatic, even.

I was standing in a Circle K in Joshua Tree with my brother, contemplating buying a box of Red Hots, and on the phone with "Him."

"Did you see my photoset?"
"Yeah."
"What did you think?"
"It looked good."
"Good?"
"Yeah."

Good. The second-worst thing I could have heard next to, "It sucked."

I would hope that, being my significant other, he would have more to say. Instead, and I told him so, I received more (and far better) compliments from complete strangers.

Granted, he's worked all day, and he apologized...but that doesn't take back that feeling of inadequacy, of being "just okay."

I want to be this wonderfully beautiful creature to him, and I get this overwhelming feeling that I'm not. He's not terribly worried about my spiritual and emotional needs; he's focused on the financial aspects. I hate that. I don't need expensive presents, dinners at fancy restaurants, or anything of the sort. I need love, reassurance, gentle caresses, heart-felt compliments and dozens of kisses. That costs nothing.

It isn't just this one occasion that leads me to believe we shouldn't be together anymore. It's several.

I've been thinking that I'd be better off alone. But would I?
VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
audient:
He may have said what he said because he was intimidated by the fact that you have now posed nude in front of all of these strangers. So his response on this one thing, I might give him a pass.

But as for the other stuff, about what you value, what he values, and what's important to you versus what's important to him -- that is far more critical. And probably fatal.

The fact that you had to put the question to all of us -- gives you all the answer you need. You've know what the answer is; you are just looking for reassurance and support. Well, you've got it.

You should want to be with someone. If you don't positively want to be with them, free yourself, and free him. Yes, relationships are work. But that's not a bad thing if you want to work at it. From the little bit you showed us here, I don't see that.

By the way -- fantastic set. I don't think I could grow tired looking at it or at you. But notwithstanding that -- I stand by the analysis above. Deserve, and do better.

Mar 1, 2005
thefuckoffkid:
I can't answer your question about your SO. I can tell you that your set was knock-me-off-my-feet stuff. He either knows what he's got in you, but doesn't know quite how to let you know (and yes, we guys can be so fucking clueless on this stuff) ... or he doesn't know what he's got and doesn't really care.

Try and figure out which it is. If it's the former, maybe he's amenable to learning. If the latter, then yes, you'd be better off alone, but that'd be your call, not mine to make.

Anyway, hot hot stuff. Thanks. smile
Mar 1, 2005

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