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calvintied

I move a lot.

Member Since 2008

Followers 14 Following 27

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Tuesday Sep 02, 2008

Sep 2, 2008
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Its been a while. Gotta get caught up with everything. The laziness, controls my will. Ok, maybe it is something else I need therapy for, so fuck it, I have psycho-analyzed my own ass for long enough. With no further successes in my analyses, I have decided to attack my dormant brain with random acts of psycho-therapy.

Long story short I started to wonder how much of what happens in my life matters to everyone else in the world and through the research that I have done , though most people support it, many could care less. With any luck someone will gain wisdom from my experience, with my luck this will go unread until deleted by some random stranger who unplugs a server some where. Well the study goes as this:

As I look back over the last four years of my life I've had some pretty fucked up shit going on. And lately I've been wondering how much that has fucked up my perception of people and life, but maybe some others out there feel the same way.

So to be fair I make the following disclaimer to this blog. All events and activities described here in are of my own perception and no one elses. Names may be changed to protect the innocent, and those who know me will understand, I love you or you aren't a part of my life. That being said I'm doing something I have never truly done. Wearing my heart or my life on my sleeve.

It is September 1st 2008, and I'm ready to go to sleep. But at this point right now, I am ready to begin therapy. Consider yourself warned.

Ready to fall asleep now. It has been a long four days. I have been working my ass off trying to land every sale I could at work this last weekend. I'm falling short, because I know I could have done more, but it all slowed down there. The economy grinding at the cogs of the retail industry, many people are feeling it, and though we talk about it, the thing I notice the most is the way in which we treat each other. I'm an Idealist, much on the way to the otherside, but don't we ever ask whose side are we on? I am a single bolt in the massive machine of my own company. Why do the other bolts conspire, hate, and take advantage of me. Further analyses is required as their are too many variables to consider, but why the fuck do we have to make it so complicated? My life is shit, your life is shit, why make it shittier for each other.

Little bit of a tangent there, but I still have a little high from doing the highest in sales in shop. It is nice to shut up the people who have been bragging on themselves so frequently, during my tenure.

The end of the day was a bit of a let down. I got to spend time with some really cool people, but the child to adult ratio was a little overwhelming. Just went home took a nap and got a little snockered, and here I am typing a way, with a million other things on mind.

Life can be a let down too frequently. That is what is truly underneath. When I break it down. I'll continue this soon, it has opened up some thoughts of my own. I will try to not get unfocussed. I hope who ever reads this will be happy today, and have the feeling that someone else is as lost as you.

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