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calvin06

in my mind

Member Since 2006

Followers 11 Following 35

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Sunday May 20, 2007

May 20, 2007
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LIFE AS A BATTLE; It was suggested to me recently that looking at life as a battle might not be the best way to approach it !

For me life is a battle : I battle the urge to pick up the bottle one more time for JUST one more drink , To pick up the pipe for Just one more hit ! My mind says Just one more, it don't matter you can stop again any time! Just one More, no one will know! Just one more, cant you remember how good it felt ! Just one more!! Just One ?

So I battle in my own mind, with my own thoughts! I battle with the darkness that says turn the wheel to the right just a little! I battle with the urge to be complacent with a life that is ordinary and lack's the wonder and awe it should contain for this magnificent and beautiful world!! I battle to see life clearly without a chemical haze filtering and distorting my view! I battle for my Life to matter to me..

I believe I'm winning, I must believe I'm winning!

My plan continues:.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I awoke the other day to the smell of lilacs sifting through my window smile



SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I went exploring: 2 sunrises in 2 days on the "Killsnake" river, I love that name smile




I Went on a imaginary mountain trip !

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I sat on the porch and watched the world........

the afternoon sky..

changed into a amazing sunset...

giving way to a bright full moon and cool mountain breeze...

I sat quietly as life contniued on around me..

Until the morning light exposed the fog wrapped valley below smile



SPOILERS! (Click to view)

And I clearly remember a time in my life when I was with a warm soft beautiful blonde.............
her warmth..her perfume ...her smile ....I remember ...........smile



I'm off now to battle.......Wish me well in your thoughts !
wink

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
shesinparties:
did you listen to Lilac Wine by Nina while actually smelling the lilacs? that would be heaven love
May 24, 2007
shesinparties:
did your Nina cd get there? i love your flowers you send me smile
May 27, 2007

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