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calvin06

in my mind

Member Since 2006

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Thursday Apr 26, 2007

Apr 26, 2007
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I'm so frustrated this week !





so I went for a long walk in the marsh and saw flocks of turkeys, geese, sand hill cranes and deer. I watched the rain hitting the river for a long time and i realised I dont want to do this anymore,

I hate my crappy job !
I hate my crappy apartment !
I hate my crappy van !
I hate my crappy lonely life !
I hate never ever catching up on bill's !
I hate the fact that I'm ranting and raving on this website !
I hate the fact that my life is running out , and that I'm so busy trying to survive that I cant enjoy it !

Now I just feel tired empty and dead inside frown BYE
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
shesinparties:
ok, i am officially worried about you. my mom has been in town, so i have not been online, but i will check in on you again soon biggrin
Apr 28, 2007
nlmd311:
Hey,
I feel you. I really do. I've become so jaded by my whole situation that I have actually let the built up frustration just eat itself. Hopefully it just isn't repressed.

The scene you described, geese, deer, the rain and the river, was really beautiful. I know everyone becomes fed up with their own environments sometime and it is no consolation, but, man, what I would do to see that. I'm here in this place, 5 in the afternoon, about 85 degrees and feels like it is close to 100. It's been nothing but sun. No clouds. Nothing. It seriously just sucks the life right out of you if you venture outside. Some people love Florida and can't wait to get here. I sit and dream of getting out. The worst was having been out a few times and having to come back. AWFUL. Back to the boring, flat landscape and even more flat/dull, monotonous landscaping. Still, I understand that your scene may be just as bad to you if it were an everyday thing. Any chance of taking a drive for the day/afternoon/few hours? Mini roadtrip. Might help to get some things off your mind and get some new scenery in there at the same time.

Anyway, it's no long term solution, but if this doesn't make you at least smile...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U91X6O5oVCE

I think we can all learn a lot from Tom. He never gives up! Resiliency.

-Darrill
Apr 29, 2007

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