calmer_than_you

I need help. I really can't take this shit anymore. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep, and when I do sleep.. I only dream of what could be. Even when i'm awake I dream. I can't seem to focus on reality. I don't even think I know HOW to deal with what goes on in my life. All I do is escape, run, hide. The world, La Seine. My mind, Notre Dam. I fully understand what is going on in the world, but I don't care. Nothing intrests me anymore. Nothing catches my eye, let alone my attention. It's not like I want more. I just want something, ANYTHING! I feel so numb, dead, jaded. I can't even write anything decent anymore. As soon as a plot enters my mind, its boring, and bland. I am at a loss for words. Perhaps there is just nothing left to say. Nothing left to feel, to do, to think. Overdone, played out, premeditated, useless, artificial, contrived, factitious, forced.

Maybe i'm just being stupid, but I don't care anymore. Fuck it, i'm done.