callisto

Today I had lunch with my mom and Jeff. Now I swear I could get a newspaper column out of the pair of them (not forgetting the book I could get out of my mothers tales of when she was younger... seriously fact is often far stranger and far more interesting than fiction, and that's why she's so cool... insane but cool) Everytime I see them one or the other,if not both, has done something silly and can't wait to drop the other in it (under the guise of *you tell her.. I'm saying nothing etc, when you know that they're dying to tell you!)
This time it was a case of Jeff nearly managing to be arrested at the foot of their drive for drink driving after ONE pint and my mother being taken 'drag racing' by her dogs. The other night Jeff had run out of tobacco and popped into one of the pubs near the shop only to be spot checked by the boys in blue as he had been seen leaving the pub. Just as he was about to turn into the driveway they pulled him over, Of course knowing he's only had one pint he didn't see the problem... until the light went red! Turns out that cos he'd literally just finished the pint the alcohol is still in your mouth (so be warned people). Luckily they can do another test after 5 minutes to see if the first one was a false reading so he ended up taking them into the house (much to my mothers delight as you can imagine *lol*) to wait, they wouldn't even let him drive the car into the driveway. Anyway after 5 mins everything was ok and they went on their way, although leaving poor Jeff to get a bollocking off my mother was probably a far worse punishment than actually being taken in.. I think i'd have been asking them to take me away *lol*

And now onto my mother.....

My mother has two greyhounds, certainly not the smallest or the most sensible of dogs, but then my mother is not the most sensible of people But she is one of the smallest. So if you're walking two stupid dogs who happen to be very good at running and then they when confronted with another dog decide to bolt extremely fast down the road what would you do?

A: let go of the leads and let the daft creatures either come back to you or head back home

OR

B: hang onto the leads and allow said dogs to drag you along the ground, ripping your coat, your tights, your knees, your hands and splitting your top lip!!!!

Everyone who said A take a bow and be safe in the knowledge that you have your sanity chip in good working order

anyone who answered B is either completely off their rocker or my mother!!!

Honestly she's the only person in the world who would rather have hung onto the damn things than just say sod you and let go! Now if that were me they'd have been on their way to the chinese to make spare ribs but not my mom oh no not her she actually makes the excuse that the dogs were *only protecting her*!

And you all thought I was weird