calgoth

hey- i'm sitting around and drinking again. the court date gets closer and its harder for me to fight the depression. i don't know if i can take fighting her. the only thing that is pushing me on is that i love my daughter and i think it is wrong for her to be raised without me in her life. i'm trying to live life normally, but this feeling of depression pervades every part of it. Once i do get visitation with my daughter everything is changing. i want it to happen, but i'm scared of the future.
i'm rambling, sorry peoples. i know many of the people on my buddy list here don't even know me or probably even read my journal, but if u didn't meet me last year, i bought this account for my ex g/f before she left me. i then took it for myself. in the 4 months between my ex leaving me and my daughter being born, i partied with SGLA. but since my daughter was born i pretty muched stopped. i was even booted from the group, for which i never recieved an explanation. My current g/f and i have a good relationship and are very supportive of each other. I probably wouldn't be able to make it through everything i have been through without her.(BTW- her and i are always looking for other women to join us for a bit of fun )
i haven't seen my daughter since april, and i'm hurting so much. i can't think of anything else to type except that if anyone ever wants to chat, IM or email me- peace