calgoth

i'm drunk right now, and heading towards very drunk. it was a long day at work today, but i got what i needed done. tomorrow i get moved to profit sharing, so i will be making $24 an hour miniumum.
i don't know if i have the strength in me to keep going. these months without seeing my daughter is taxing me dearly. I still can't move past the past... i hate myself for the things i have done and i still have love in me for her. but i know she bears none of the same, so i try to forget my feelings. from what i understand, she believes that she is either going to have me sign away my parental rights or she is going to kick my ass in court. she is very deluded. but i'm a wreck just thinking of seeing her again, and seeing that cold look in her eyes, that hatred. I've had my faults, more than my share trust. but she can't think of our daughter and is selfish about this.

i have more to say...but i can't seem to put together anymore good sentances.

so i lift my glass to everyone, and hope that my drunken stupor brings me some solace. at least i know someone loves me, my g/f heather.