cakemix

i really can see how people get agoraphobic.

i'm really really shaky about leavin' the house on my own since getting so ill last weekend...

my temperature was so high that the new guy had to put me in a cold bath to bring my fever down - and even with the hi doses of penicillin the doc gave me on monday morning i was running hot til just yesterday. i was so ill i just kept feeling like i was falling.

am quite scared of the thought of getting that sick again out alone on the street. i had to go to the post box yesterday so i hurried - well, as much as i could being so bloated, cramped up, and in pain - just went straight there and came straight back and hated every moment of it.



and the really weird thing is - i got hit on non stop by men the whole time i was outside...

i think they must have some strange in built predatory thing that feeds on the weak and vulnerable. and the thing is i'm used to being hit on constantly, but this was different - i really felt like i was being hunted rather than admired.

and yes...i realise my feelings might be due to my state of mind, but these guys still were quite agressive in their attentions.

so i feel very very very lucky that i've got the new guy.
he's definitely the most thoughtful person i've even been involved with and he's going out of his way again for me today...he's wonderful and the more time i spend with him i fall more and more.

luckily he feels the same way too and is with me as much as he possibly can be...