cait

Sorry about last night's very drunk update.

Hopefully this makes more sense:

Ever since I broke up with the last boyfriend, I've been hanging out/ fucking this guy. I don't really know what to call our relationship other than "friends with benefits"

He's a really weird/interesting/cool guy. He has the whole intelligent funny sensative asshole thing going- which you know I love. Last night he said to me, "The more I hang out with you, the more I feel I don't know you," and I just found it really interesting and funny, because I guess I didn't really realize quite how gaurded I really am around him. I mean, obviously I let him in pretty close, but I'm still pretty damn distant.

I was realizing today however, that really I have it pretty sweet, no matter how much I complain.

The boy that I'm really pathetically still into, I get to see everday. I *basically* wake up to him in the morning and come home to him at night. Today for example, he went with me to buy my books for school, and we went grocery shopping together. Not romantic or anything, but I do get to spend some quaility time with that boy, and I must admit he makes me happy, even though we'll never be together.

On top of that, I have this other guy, who is cool as well, and definitly there for some cuddling and the doin' it.

I would definitly prefer to have that all in one package, but I'm young, you know? Someday hopefully I will find it

p.s. Damn that shit is long! Sorry