cait

ok, so detailed account of why I'm lame and stuff

I'm in love with my room mate/ best friend. We all know this, old news. He even knows it, and its obvious that he doesn't/ never will feel the same way, so I really need to get over it!
But I can't.
Lame.
Anyway, it seems to come out at the least appropriate times- mainly when I'm really drunk and can't stand it.
So the official reason nothing can ever happen was the old "I don't want to ruin the friendship" (when the obvious reason is that he just doesn't dig that).

So last night when drunk I found out (well, I knew, but it was confirmed) that he had a crush on one of his other friends. Basically the realization of the fact that his excuse was most definitly an excuse hit me, and I started bawling, had to leave the party, and come home and cut.
And of course he knew.
There is this weird question of whether or not we need to talk about it. I keep telling him no, because there really isn't anything thats going to change anything, you know?
But really I think we should. Who knows, maybe it will help a little
What do you think?
I know I'm a pathetic drama queen, but I can't seem to get over this, and living with him (which I didn't until about a month ago- I've liked him for a little less than a year) seems to make this harder.
I need to get over it
Anyway, thats me, whats up with you?