cain

I want you. Not in a sexual way, either. Want. Need. I need you. I just want you here so I can look at you and make sure youre real. When you leave my heart gets heavy, and its a physical weight I feel. I get that lump in my throat. I start to feel panicked. I get the shakes. Its like youre a drug. And I go through withdrawals every time you are taken away. When youre here I abuse you, and when you go its like the end of the world. Its driving me insane. Why arent you here now? You need to be here now. I need you. Here. Now. I cant tolerate this. I dont even want to move. God damn it. If in 13 hours you are not here, I will cry. Just know that.

Yes, fuck class today. I am feeling horrible, and there's no fucking way I'm walking in the rain for ONE fucking class. No, not today. I feel so bad even my ears hurt. Pressure, or something. I plan to just stay holed up in this apartment all day. Thank god. I won't have to deal with the outside world. I think I hate college. Everyone here is so weird. This weekend was spent, in part, with Heather. Having her around is such a relief. I wish she went to college with me. Things would be so much easier. There wouldn't be that terrifying question of, "Oh god, who will I eat lunch with?" By yourself, honey, cause no one likes you. Heather and I are two of a kind, methinks. Someday we'll run away together and be awesome. We'll take over the world.
This weekend we wowed our hometown with our return. Damn did we look hot. I wish I would have remembered my camera. We put on fake accents. Everyone wanted to talk to us. Boy did we get stares. We looked amazing. Wish you coulda been there.
I don't know what to do with me. My ears hurt.