cahrizz

hey man happy new year and boxing day and shit. and great set honey, you make being sexy what it is: easy, dangerous, drunken daggers tipping scales of possibilities, shysters' dreams making the pick up artist dance and recompense with hospitable despair, the kind of jarred up excitement a lightening bug promises a child who still dreams of fairies and monsters under the bed.

other than that kids i'm back sicker and stronger than ever.

took a float trip down the river styx and picked up a few new tricks wondering what i was and wondering if i were something i;m not.

refuse to be who you are and you find yourself drunk in a bathroom with two hot horny chics on new years buying into your fake scottish accent.

i'm only bragging b/c i was so dead to the world for so long i didn't even hardly listen to music, which is the blood in my veins. i have discovered realms of lonliness that no monk knows. reason is at the very least a monk has some grass, some life form or even a rock i had the dead walls of proliferated suburbia dripping bars in front of me stealing away the rythmns of my own heart from ears and i delved into another life in dreams that was so absolutely wonderful i skipped waking up most days.

but right now john frusciante's heaven's angels for me. suddenly found myself awake for three days staright and remembered i had said to my brother i'd go to this shing dig on new years with him and his girl and their friends which were like noah's ark all coupled and shit. so i was the ninth wheel on a semi and that felt shittier than well, shit. so i grabbed a drink feeling like i was coked up all this excitement went right to me. i don't give a shit about some arbitrary day or days i don't need excuses for holidays to be kind of festive. for fuck's sake, it could be some rainy, god shit on monday full of nothing and it'll feel like a birthday party when your a little tike. so i was there feeling this explosion of possibilities and i saw this one girl with this perfect skirt this curtain before the show, a promise of adventure and some sort of bra like top, midnight coloured hair and all the right feaures emenating sexuality. but then i caught it. as i my boot crushed dirt deeper into the dance floor--she was a sham. a pretense. a make believe i was this way so i could have someone listen to me and pay attention like a small child or a puppy. so i was sickened felt the night might be darker then this little heart shaped arrow stabbed me in the ass or somewhere's wherever you might suppose a child-like god of lust/love of varying degrees and possiblilties might like to do it to me cause sure as hell as a bartender will sometime this evening scream last call and it won't feel like enough, i catch the gaze of something that touches something so deeply dormant i had begun past experience was some story i sold myself.

she would hide her facebehind her hair with one hand like a japanese girl would with a fan tempt, blush hide a burning radiant smile. and i was seduced.

i made a slight mistake. i had as in past adpoted an accent that doesn't belong to me by country or place of orgin. it felt right. it was my habitual fun with language and words. when i told her i wasn't from where she supposed i was from she was a bit pissed but not overly some. but just as we grew closer and soon found eachothers' arms wrapped around one another sure as shit she started to distrust honesty. honesty is like cassandra, from the ancient greek stories, no matter what you tell something is going to happen or what is what they hate to believe it. he friends threw flowers at my feet and jealously planned a wedding. but i'll can get is her answering machine.

so next thing i know i'm at it again. she's left the party goes on as i wait for my ride and enjoy the carnivale. i go to the pisser to find a line of one fellow. i stand behind him and up marches a troupe of girls who start to go before us and i have to stop this nonsense. look here i say in my accent, equal rights and all, right? the guy marches in and these two girls start saying let's share the pisser. and i says hey i've done that before but right now i have to piss awfully bad so there's no guarentee i'm not going to splash on you. no, oh no it'll be fine they chorus. so i goes in with this one sex girl and her black little sexy dress. she wants me to piss in the sink and clean up after myself as she puts it. so i try but the sinks a bit high and i find myself strangely self-conscious. i catch the rolled panties cutting into smooth beautiful thighs. converation. she starts to open the bathroom door mock disappointed and her friend shoves herself in while cloing the door i finally piss and then her and then its this organism of flesh hungry with tongues and hands, i think it usually sits in some indian shrine but for some time as the door was banger i became it. ahh, and i needed that.

and priceless was the shock when i let go the one accent for the common one tey grew used to. as semen was wiped from lips horror struck the broken hearted....