cahrizz

so bright eyes i'd like to quote bright eyes rightnow,

if you hate the taste of wine, why do you drink it till your blind?. and if you swear there's no truth and who cares how come you say it like you're right? why are you scared to drink of god when it's salvation that you want? you see stars that clear have been dead for years, but the idea just lives on. you know wheels that roll around as we move over the ground. and all day it seems we've been inbetween the past and future tense. we are no where and it's now...and it's like a ten minute dream in the passanger seat while the world was flying by, i haven't been gone very long but it feels like a life time. i've been sleeping so strange at night. side effects they don't advertise. i've been sleeping so strange, with a head full of pesticide. i've got no plans and too much time. i feel too restless to unwind. i'm always lost in thought as i walk a block to my favorite neon sign. where the waitress looks concerned, but she never says a word. just turns the jike box on and we hum along and i smile back at her. and my friend comes after work. when the features start to blur. she says these bars are filled with things that kill, by now you probably should have learned. did you forget that yellow bird? how could you forget your yellow bird? she takes a small metal wreath and pins it to me, she said this one will bring you love. and i don't know if it's true but i keep it for good luck. "

yeah my life sort of right now. and i'm missing soe people in different places that keep me sane. so maybe it's time to move along the road and find the life i need? maybe it's time for europe or south america? i've been selling my stocks. and i got over two g's and another couple coming. and in the next few months my bonds will mature to the ability to cash them in not huge amount s of profits but good enough. and the army owes me over a g...so well see where that gets me.
btw being the good guy always causes you hell!!! i told myself two things shut up and let it go and i couldn't. and where did it get me??? i'm not sure but not what i want i'm sure. no doubt tommorrow b/c i am so behind most of you, i will wake up with a hang over and a broken heart. i've been here before but not like this. so maybe that was the warning city streets and steps and stoops and you can't find her playing hide and go seek and even when you weren't it you two were always searching eachother out. ??
chris
plus maybe i just need to be on the run so i can have some fun and find the trecherous words of a broken heart. she didn't even call me or send an email to say happy birthday man.