caffeineheadache

Let's be honest for a minute.

I love my girlfriend. I don't want to marry her.
I don't want to move in with her. I don't want to do that with anyone right now. One day I will settle down...I promise. But not just yet.

fuck.......I can't give her what she wants.......
On top of al this I need a job still....I go to a couple of interviews a week while still working part time at this crappy computer place....it's killing me. I feel so useless and outta place right now. I don't want to drink or smoke......I just want a job so I can pay off my credit cards...stupid Europe.
I'm getting stressed out and I can't find my place........

f f f f f f f f f f

And to top it off I feel fat...I've gained weight this year....
I've been really skinny my whole life and now I have a belly.... I don't know where to begin to lose the pounds...I heard speed works....

i think I'm an idiot......



I don't even know what I'm doing anymore......