caetano

I do not seem to ever get through any single day without insulting or offending someone. Sometimes I have to wonder if I do not wear it as a shield. I saw Kate today, but, we did not really speak. She was very busy and talking to her boss. So I just stayed in my own little world and drank my coffee and read my Italian text and studied the verbs. I miss her the moment I leave. I think of her during the day. I guess I just have to work on all my goals and get on with the business of life. I will find what and who I need eventually, I know I will. It will just have to all be in good time. And I will know it when it arrives. I think I may have offended April today, and she is the last person I would want to offend. She has been like a sister and a muse to me. I think I shall just never again say anything to anyone at work. I will simply go there do my job and then go home. I have to worry every day that someone will take so much offense to my unabashed way of communicating that I will end up in the managers office. I really hope not. I can not handle losing three positions in the space of only a year and a half. People just do not see the me, which is really me. All they see is the one I show, the one who keeps them at arms length. I can not blame them for misinterpreting my words or intentions, when all they see is the weird me. The one that makes darkish statements and seems so awkward in all social settings. Getting sleepy now, must read some more of the book before I sleep. Will take info with me tomorrow and try to get across the real intention that it represents.
I hope it will be seen in the light that it was intended in. Aria rules!