caetano

The ingredients of Lies and Life

What am I suppose to say or do? It is such a beautiful day outside, and yet, I am reluctant to go out into it. I do not feel like doing anything or going anywhere. But, I will put myself out there. I have to. The alternative is death. Yes, I know this sounds ramblish. And it is. I am thinking, and sitting, sitting, and thinking. All the thoughts in my head just can not flow fast enough through my fingers. I want nothing more than to get on a motorcycle, and just leave. The thing is I do not own one. And if I left I would have to take the cat. Personal you say? This is not personal, this is pure thought vomit. Beautiful day, questionable future, no friends, and lots of doubt.

We have not been for a very long time. Ever since you stopped trusting me, ever since you started listening to fucking morons. We have not been. When you even had to ask, that was the thing. When you felt compelled to ask, not me, that was natural, but, others..when you asked them. That was the thing. We halted. And I was devastated and sad. But, life moves on. I know you have. I will too. It will just take me a minute. I feel like cooking, but, do not have any ingredients to cook with. I want a juicy burger with thick cut tomato, bacon, Swiss cheese, and a side of guacamole.

I will go now, and add later. …