caetano

I believe it was ghandi who said, "Be the change that you want to see in the world". So, I guess it is up to me to be the change I want to see in my world. I know I have been talking so much about making changes, and not reporting any of the ones that I have made. Well, that is because, really, there have not been any. Not the kind I want to see myself accomplish anyway. Fear, fear is my number one demon. And his cousins doubt and idleness are not far behind. I just need to get away from here. I know all my personal problems will go with me, but, I just need to leave this safe, controlled, controlling, suffocating, inert, unsatisfactory place that I am in my life.

I need a new family. I need new friends. I need new challenges. I am sick to death of feeling like I am chained in place, while the world around me is evolving. I lack compassion, especially for myself. I do not cotton to excuses for weakness. And yet, I give myself so many for my own.


I will write more on this later.

For now another blast from the past...