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caetano

Madison, WI

Member Since 2004

Followers 94 Following 151

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Friday Nov 03, 2006

Nov 3, 2006
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A day like no other

I spent the day looking at the world around me, and interpreting it from my acute perspective. I spent the day watching a woman balance her professional life, and her life as a mother. I watched others watching me watching them. I wondered inside my own head just how insane the people in the world around me appeared, especially to themselves. I thought about what it will take to become the architect that I feel like I was born to be. I mused at the worlds that have a symbiotic relationship with the ones that they border, and lie on top of. I pondered the thought processes of the average American woman and man. I watched as a man entered the bus that I was riding inside of, with snot hanging from his nose, oozing and insinuating itself past his chin. I quickly moved my bag into the seat next to me, so as to deter him from becoming recumbent next to me.

I thought about where I am and where I need to go. I planned out a route to get there. I walked in the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art. I watched from the roof garden as life on State street past by. I took a bus, all the while listening to what is suppose to be some of the most beautiful classical music ever composed. When I reached East Towne, I went into the mall, thinking about how so many people spend their days following in the paths of their habits, and let their lives take them down the same exact paths, every single day of their existence. I promised myself not to allow my life to be that predictable and morose.

I sat next to a woman that I love, and I read picture books. I sat and waited for Jo, so that I could give her the bracelet that I completed as a gift for her daughter. I read, and planned, adored and ached. I took each moment in as a lifetime, and in the end I said goodbye, and was squenchless. I saw you today, and needed you, and rationalized, reasoned, and then moved on. Moved on, realizing that friendship is and shall always be the most valuable commodity in this world.

I realized how small my world has become. I thought about the fear you experience, the uncertainty, and the brilliant mind you possess. I imagined your night. I extrapolated out, past this day, the next, and into next year. I wished I could tell you how much I love you, and how important you are to my life. I wondered what my life would be like with you in it, the way I imagine I need you to be. I wondered what it would be like to live, regardless of, not in recognition of, or caring for, what the world that surrounds, sees or believes, interprets or bases judgment upon. What would it be like to live free, saying exactly what you felt like you needed to say, in the exact moment you needed to say it. To do, move in, and be, all that you felt that you needed to. I came to one startling revelation. And that is that I think too much, I feel too much, and I make things way more complicated then they need to be. I need to, as a not so wise, yet, poignant, philosopher, once said, ..To relax, release, relate... I need to do all that I can to get to where I want to be in life, and to make sure that I hold on to all the people that I love and care about. And I must make sure that they all know just how valuable and important they are in my life.

I hope to see you soon. I hope that at some point in life, our schedules will converge on a time when we can hang out, and then we two can be truly alive, if only in the few brief moments we spend in one another's presence.

I wish all that read this Much Love and Much Luck!


love kiss kiss miao!! miao!!


~Scott

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