There is not anywhere to begin..so I will just say that the last two days have stressed me out to the point where I just want to go far far away.
WHY? you may ask. Well let us see...
I have been sued, a judgement has been won. I now owe 1136 dollars for a credit card account on which I only charged 180 dollars, the rest is in fees and interest. So, I was summoned to appear yesterday, and now have to pay 100 dollars a month until it is paid off. The statutory interest accrues daily and monthly, so the quicker I pay, the less I will owe. And at the exact same moment in time, on Sunday night at 12:30am I took my cat into the emergency clinic, because he was all blocked up, and his bladder was engorged, and he needed to have a catheter inserted, and be flushed out, so that he can go on his own. I was not able to afford the blood and urinalysis, so that we can find out what is going on with him, but, they did unblock him, and sent him home with me yesterday evening. To get him out, I needed to pay $563. Which of course I did not have available right now. And so had to write a total of 5 checks. One as a hundred dollar deposit payable NOW, one for an additional $100 payable on the 9th and 3 more for 121.09 dollars payable EVERY friday for the next three weeks after that. So, no christmas for Scott. And now I am worried, because mischief still needs to go to a regular vet and get the urinalysis done, to tell me what is going on with his mineral levels, and what caused this in the first place. But, guess what? I do not have the money. I feel so afraid, and stressed and just plain trapped. On top of all of this, I live with someone who lost her job, and can NOT pay the rent, and yet when she does get money, decided it is more important to get her dog groomed then pay what portion of that rent that she can. This is what makes me feel so angry and frustrated and like I just want to move the fuck OUT and never look back. I feel like I am being assaulted from all sides, with cold metallic accuracy. I need sleep, I need a hug or a role model. And most importantly I need my cat to be ok, so that I can go out in the world and make money, and pay all of these mounting bills...so that the lights and the phone and the internet (which is my only consistent connection with the world), will NOT be shut OFF.
Fuck!!!! is all I can think to say. I really need someone to talk to about all of this. And I do not feel like I have anyone at all.
SAE
WHY? you may ask. Well let us see...
I have been sued, a judgement has been won. I now owe 1136 dollars for a credit card account on which I only charged 180 dollars, the rest is in fees and interest. So, I was summoned to appear yesterday, and now have to pay 100 dollars a month until it is paid off. The statutory interest accrues daily and monthly, so the quicker I pay, the less I will owe. And at the exact same moment in time, on Sunday night at 12:30am I took my cat into the emergency clinic, because he was all blocked up, and his bladder was engorged, and he needed to have a catheter inserted, and be flushed out, so that he can go on his own. I was not able to afford the blood and urinalysis, so that we can find out what is going on with him, but, they did unblock him, and sent him home with me yesterday evening. To get him out, I needed to pay $563. Which of course I did not have available right now. And so had to write a total of 5 checks. One as a hundred dollar deposit payable NOW, one for an additional $100 payable on the 9th and 3 more for 121.09 dollars payable EVERY friday for the next three weeks after that. So, no christmas for Scott. And now I am worried, because mischief still needs to go to a regular vet and get the urinalysis done, to tell me what is going on with his mineral levels, and what caused this in the first place. But, guess what? I do not have the money. I feel so afraid, and stressed and just plain trapped. On top of all of this, I live with someone who lost her job, and can NOT pay the rent, and yet when she does get money, decided it is more important to get her dog groomed then pay what portion of that rent that she can. This is what makes me feel so angry and frustrated and like I just want to move the fuck OUT and never look back. I feel like I am being assaulted from all sides, with cold metallic accuracy. I need sleep, I need a hug or a role model. And most importantly I need my cat to be ok, so that I can go out in the world and make money, and pay all of these mounting bills...so that the lights and the phone and the internet (which is my only consistent connection with the world), will NOT be shut OFF.
Fuck!!!! is all I can think to say. I really need someone to talk to about all of this. And I do not feel like I have anyone at all.
SAE