I will keep this brief, lest it becomes a complete venting therapy session. I bid good riddance to 2024, and on the last day of the year, I was hit with a hard reality at a check up with my doctor, who made the decision for me that I was to begin a medical leave of absence immediately, for the sake of my mental health. She dated the end for March 31, 2025. 3 months. It was not something I had even thought of for myself, but with the turmoil of 2024 and my inability to allow myself time to process it, she felt it absolutely necessary. I'm grateful, in a way, that in such a brief recounting of what troubled me, she was able to see my needs and put me on a path for my best interest, but I also am someone who has deeply struggled at even having to call in sick, though often battling chronic pain.
I have tried to publicly be positive, but I see how that has worn me down to a frail shell. 2024 began with the passing of my father and I never took time to really process, sure I was off for a few days, coordinated his final wishes, then went back to work....in the funeral industry, holding others through their grief and shoving mine deep down. I took another few days off 6 months later when we had his memorial...and then I became unable to filter the tears that would come pouring out of me. Turmoil in my home, chronic pain with no relief in sight, stress, drama and blatant bullying in my workplace.....my 2 greatest supports at my work ripped from my presence. I tried to keep my head down and persevere....a partner with a terrible injury which we finally just got answers and a quick turn around for surgery for....4 months after the injury, and now on to the long and painful recovery for him.
I am tired, I can barely remember the last few months. I have had bright spots, I have pushed myself into other endeavors to spark my creativity and my joy....but I am tired.
Thank you for those who have stuck around beyond the pretty pictures, I will return to those soon, and thank you to those who have supported the other site and Etsy, any extra income eases some of the stress that I am trying so hard to find relief from.
May 2025 be kinder to us all, and may we be gentle with ourselves
