I'm really not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Keeping finding little things here (besides the big obvious one) that make it worth smiling, worth getting up for...my little pieces of sanity. But...those little pieces keep imploding upon themselves and crumbling in my hands.
Some of you..may have read the announcement from last night...some may not have, but :
The adjuster called my mother last night (who lives in WA....and I currently live in..CA) to tell her my car is total loss. But is the adjuster at work right now? No...so I can't get details before I go to class....this will be..fan-fucking-tastic.
I'm sure there are people who may read this and say "a car accident and your car being totaled are NOTHING" and yes, when I look at things that 1. I've already been through or 2. know are much worse....I agree.. But the depression and stress keeping pushing me to the edge because it keeps bringing up the shit I've been through already.
I can honestly say, after I move away from Sacramento, if I never come back to this city, it'll be too soon, and if I don't get out soon...I may just lose my mind.
My friends and family up in Seattle are looking for a new car for me, but they have to wait to know how much I'm getting my car for...and then my dad has to license it for me and then drive it down here. So...who knows how long all of that will take. Luckily I've found a ride to classes...for now.
It's really hard for me to be optimistic (if you can't tell). I'm feeling trapped in the apartment and it's hard to go out and look for a job. I'm pretty much a tear stained mess. Poor Corey is trying so hard to keep me sane and keep me happy. I wish I could just hide it all, but he knows me too well, and I just...can't.
I miss the simple days...
TIme to attempt some sociology reading before class...don't know how well that'll go. I want to eat, but I'm way too nauseous. And I get the choice of waiting til 1:30 for Corey to come get me at school (My class ends at 10:30)...or riding the 2 buses and the light rail home. Guess it depends on how I'm feeling.
Hope everyone out in SG land is doing way better than me.
Some of you..may have read the announcement from last night...some may not have, but :
The adjuster called my mother last night (who lives in WA....and I currently live in..CA) to tell her my car is total loss. But is the adjuster at work right now? No...so I can't get details before I go to class....this will be..fan-fucking-tastic.
I'm sure there are people who may read this and say "a car accident and your car being totaled are NOTHING" and yes, when I look at things that 1. I've already been through or 2. know are much worse....I agree.. But the depression and stress keeping pushing me to the edge because it keeps bringing up the shit I've been through already.
I can honestly say, after I move away from Sacramento, if I never come back to this city, it'll be too soon, and if I don't get out soon...I may just lose my mind.
My friends and family up in Seattle are looking for a new car for me, but they have to wait to know how much I'm getting my car for...and then my dad has to license it for me and then drive it down here. So...who knows how long all of that will take. Luckily I've found a ride to classes...for now.
It's really hard for me to be optimistic (if you can't tell). I'm feeling trapped in the apartment and it's hard to go out and look for a job. I'm pretty much a tear stained mess. Poor Corey is trying so hard to keep me sane and keep me happy. I wish I could just hide it all, but he knows me too well, and I just...can't.
I miss the simple days...
TIme to attempt some sociology reading before class...don't know how well that'll go. I want to eat, but I'm way too nauseous. And I get the choice of waiting til 1:30 for Corey to come get me at school (My class ends at 10:30)...or riding the 2 buses and the light rail home. Guess it depends on how I'm feeling.
Hope everyone out in SG land is doing way better than me.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
rapaddict40:
I'm so sorry to hear. Keep your head up; not having a car and having to go to class isn't fun. I remember I was without a car for 3 weeks after an accident and my mom wouldn't let me borrow hers. Feel better! 
I'm so sorry to hear. Keep your head up; not having a car and having to go to class isn't fun. I remember I was without a car for 3 weeks after an accident and my mom wouldn't let me borrow hers. Feel better! 
remod66:
Life's very crazy over here, too, my friend. But I happen to know that you're strong... take advantage of that and I've got your back whenever you need it.