The Mother
Abortions will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you did not get,
The damp small pulps with a little or with no hair,
The singers and workers that never handled the air.
You will never neglect or beat
Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.
You will never wind up the sucking-thumb
Or scuttle off ghosts that...
Read More
Abortions will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you did not get,
The damp small pulps with a little or with no hair,
The singers and workers that never handled the air.
You will never neglect or beat
Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.
You will never wind up the sucking-thumb
Or scuttle off ghosts that...
Read More
I remember the neckcurls, limp and damp as tendrils;
And her quick look, a sidelong pickerel smile;
And how, once startled into talk, the light syllables leaped for her,
And she balanced in the delight of her thought,
A wren, happy, tail into the wind,
Her song trembling the twigs and small branches.
The shade sang with her;
The leaves, their whispers turned to kissing,...
Read More
And her quick look, a sidelong pickerel smile;
And how, once startled into talk, the light syllables leaped for her,
And she balanced in the delight of her thought,
A wren, happy, tail into the wind,
Her song trembling the twigs and small branches.
The shade sang with her;
The leaves, their whispers turned to kissing,...
Read More
I will lay me down
In a bunker
Underground
I won't let this happen
to my children
Meet the real world
coming out of your shell
With white elephants
Sitting ducks
I will rise up
Little babies
eyes
eyes
eyes
eyes
Little babies
eyes
eyes
eyes
eyes
Little babies
eyes
eyes
eyes
eyes
Little babies
eyes
eyes
eyes
In a bunker
Underground
I won't let this happen
to my children
Meet the real world
coming out of your shell
With white elephants
Sitting ducks
I will rise up
Little babies
eyes
eyes
eyes
eyes
Little babies
eyes
eyes
eyes
eyes
Little babies
eyes
eyes
eyes
eyes
Little babies
eyes
eyes
eyes
Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back....
Read More
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back....
Read More
We real cool. We
Left school. We
Lurk late. We
Strike straight. We
Sing sin. We
Thin gin. We
Jazz June. We
Die soon.
Left school. We
Lurk late. We
Strike straight. We
Sing sin. We
Thin gin. We
Jazz June. We
Die soon.
"When Lil's husband got demobbed, I said"
"I didn't mince my words, I said to her myself,"
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
"Now Albert's coming back, make yourself a bit smart.
He'll want to know what you done with that money he gave you
To get yourself some teeth. He did, I was there."
"You have them all out, Lil, and get a nice set,...
Read More
"I didn't mince my words, I said to her myself,"
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
"Now Albert's coming back, make yourself a bit smart.
He'll want to know what you done with that money he gave you
To get yourself some teeth. He did, I was there."
"You have them all out, Lil, and get a nice set,...
Read More
I visited the house where this all occured. Made myself get up early and walk down there.
I was reminded of an interview conducted with Maya Angelou. She was back in her old Arkansas hometown, talking about the train tracks that separated black from white, and even though the days of segregation were long past, even thirty years later, she still didn't want to cross...
Read More
I was reminded of an interview conducted with Maya Angelou. She was back in her old Arkansas hometown, talking about the train tracks that separated black from white, and even though the days of segregation were long past, even thirty years later, she still didn't want to cross...
Read More
The father was a creepy old man...an alcoholic.
He sat in his armchair lazy-y-boy and swilled beer after beer.
This was 1988 and I was eight at the time.
I had been hanging around his two boys for a few weeks, and had picked up on their unusually precocious sexual banter. A commercial for a weed wacker came on television, and, parroting the boys' sexual...
Read More
He sat in his armchair lazy-y-boy and swilled beer after beer.
This was 1988 and I was eight at the time.
I had been hanging around his two boys for a few weeks, and had picked up on their unusually precocious sexual banter. A commercial for a weed wacker came on television, and, parroting the boys' sexual...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
leola:
I'm sorry. 
rosemarie:
I am really sorry that that happened to you. I think that it is a brave step that you finally talk about it. That is the first step toward healing. Also, it is okay to lean on other people sometimes. You don't have to carry around all of the heavy shit alone. I just realized this, and I cried with relief.
You have my support.
You have my support.
And now, apparently, I have discovered who was leaving angry comments to my journal.
I don't care who I sicken, frankly.
Now it's time for one of those wishy-washy, on-one hand, on another hand sort of posts.
NO ONE DESERVES TO BE THE VICTIM OF SEXUAL ABUSE.
I was MOLESTED when I was 8! Do you want to hear gory details? I don't think you...
Read More
I don't care who I sicken, frankly.
Now it's time for one of those wishy-washy, on-one hand, on another hand sort of posts.
NO ONE DESERVES TO BE THE VICTIM OF SEXUAL ABUSE.
I was MOLESTED when I was 8! Do you want to hear gory details? I don't think you...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
andvari:
*Whispers*
Psst. One of the things I learned when I was new here (like last week) was that in most cases you need to post your replies to people's comments in their journals. Otherwise they'll don't know that you've replied.
How is someone leaving posts for you without a name?
Psst. One of the things I learned when I was new here (like last week) was that in most cases you need to post your replies to people's comments in their journals. Otherwise they'll don't know that you've replied.
How is someone leaving posts for you without a name?
squidbizkit:
I cant even imagine the emotions related to the trauma that you encountered by trusted family friends at such a young age. Nor can I imagine many can.
I hope that you are still recieving quality counceling because the anger you are feeling now is clashing with the positive thoughts you are trying to articulate - and I can not imagine any other forum to work it through.
I hope that you are still recieving quality counceling because the anger you are feeling now is clashing with the positive thoughts you are trying to articulate - and I can not imagine any other forum to work it through.
I do not mean to come across as annoying for proclaiming my inherent attraction to men, but having grown up in a very homophobic environment, with two homophobic parents...it is difficult not to come across that way.
Coming out is a process one never really gets over, and there are still times I loathe myself for being queer. I really shouldn't let the callous...
Read More
Coming out is a process one never really gets over, and there are still times I loathe myself for being queer. I really shouldn't let the callous...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
cabaretic:
And I am also aware that who I fuck is only a tiny facet to a very complex gemstone.
I suppose I am very tired of having to hide it...and I've done the very same thing I've gotten annoyed with in other people...that is, oversharing.
But this never goes away.
And those of you who are in the heterosexual majority should understand that this is not anything you should aspire to be.
I often hear, "Gay People Rock".
Well, maybe us LBGBIT's rock...but I don't get this designer queer attitude. It's not a fashion statement, and I, for one resent it when someone wants to take the glitz and fail to understand that there's a lot of submerged pain underneath it all.
I don't even like the word, "Gay"...it connotes happy and most people I know who are gay, either mostly or halfway, aren't happy at all.
I guess more than anything I resent. I seethe with resentment, whether justified or not.
I seethe that it's SO HOT for a woman to dig other women, but if a man digs other men, then he's to be deplored.
And I resent Keith's somewhat patronizing attitude. Oh, he didn't mean to come across that way, and I am not angry at him...but I don't like it when a straight person tries to dictate to me what it's like to be queer.
You don't know, okay. You will never know, thank god.
I appreciate the "straight-but-not-narrow" crowd...I really do, but unless you yourself feel attracted to a member of the same sex, you won't understand. It's sort of like visiting NYC versus reading about it in a travel book. Oh sure, you might have a good theoretical, abstract idea, but you won't really get it.
[Edited on Jun 05, 2005 11:24PM]
[Edited on Jun 05, 2005 11:45PM]
I suppose I am very tired of having to hide it...and I've done the very same thing I've gotten annoyed with in other people...that is, oversharing.
But this never goes away.
And those of you who are in the heterosexual majority should understand that this is not anything you should aspire to be.
I often hear, "Gay People Rock".
Well, maybe us LBGBIT's rock...but I don't get this designer queer attitude. It's not a fashion statement, and I, for one resent it when someone wants to take the glitz and fail to understand that there's a lot of submerged pain underneath it all.
I don't even like the word, "Gay"...it connotes happy and most people I know who are gay, either mostly or halfway, aren't happy at all.
I guess more than anything I resent. I seethe with resentment, whether justified or not.
I seethe that it's SO HOT for a woman to dig other women, but if a man digs other men, then he's to be deplored.
And I resent Keith's somewhat patronizing attitude. Oh, he didn't mean to come across that way, and I am not angry at him...but I don't like it when a straight person tries to dictate to me what it's like to be queer.
You don't know, okay. You will never know, thank god.
I appreciate the "straight-but-not-narrow" crowd...I really do, but unless you yourself feel attracted to a member of the same sex, you won't understand. It's sort of like visiting NYC versus reading about it in a travel book. Oh sure, you might have a good theoretical, abstract idea, but you won't really get it.
[Edited on Jun 05, 2005 11:24PM]
[Edited on Jun 05, 2005 11:45PM]
cabaretic:
I am super pissed off, having read the responses to my Ashlee Holloway post.
I didn't imply that she deserved to be the target of violence...but rather I implied that...
YOU SHOULDN'T TEMPT FATE.
There, is it spelled out in big bold letters for you?
Christ, people.
You don't put yourself in dangerous situations, because you realize that every time you do, you will roll the dice, and sometimes your number will be up.
And yes, the "wild" do put themselves in dangerous situations more often, mostly out of a lack of understanding this crucial fact.
I suppose my anger was out of overprotectiveness, because I've placed myself, stupidly, in similar situations and have been damned lucky I wasn't killed.
I am not some vicious monster. Kindly refrain from treating me as such.
I didn't imply that she deserved to be the target of violence...but rather I implied that...
YOU SHOULDN'T TEMPT FATE.
There, is it spelled out in big bold letters for you?
Christ, people.
You don't put yourself in dangerous situations, because you realize that every time you do, you will roll the dice, and sometimes your number will be up.
And yes, the "wild" do put themselves in dangerous situations more often, mostly out of a lack of understanding this crucial fact.
I suppose my anger was out of overprotectiveness, because I've placed myself, stupidly, in similar situations and have been damned lucky I wasn't killed.
I am not some vicious monster. Kindly refrain from treating me as such.