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cabaretic

Hoover, Alabama

Member Since 2005

Followers 15 Following 14

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Saturday Jul 02, 2005

Jul 2, 2005
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I've been trying to get away from the Big Salty 'Ham for a few days, but alas, I am cash poor. If a friend from Atlanta whisks me away for a few days, it will be most appreciated.

I worry about my little sister, who just broke up with a guy who threw her kitten into the Cahaba River in retaliation. I never liked him, but then, I've never liked anyone she's dated. It seems to me as though she could do a lot better. She seems to desire guys who are beneath her, and though that saddens me, I suppose she wants to be in charge.

I cut the lawn today, and manually edged the grass by the driveway. Doing yardwork must trigger the guilt complexes of my neighbors, because after I was at it for a few minutes, immediately two of them started doing similar work. The house across from ours is getting everything refurbished...I assume its owners are getting ready to sell. This means that a phalanx of sweaty, shirtless young men are always outside at all times, and naturally I enjoy going outside and observing, though I am always careful not to make it obvious.

The crazy old woman at the foot of the hill is forever doing lawn care...in heavy pursuit of the coveted Garden Club, "Lawn of the Month" sign to stick in her lawn yet another term. She is a crabby bitch, and my oldest younger sister's friend often would scream epithets at her as they drove by on the way to class.

Hey, old lady, suck my dick!

Much to their surprise, she once shot them the bird in response.

My neighbors are strange sorts. They're not very friendly and quite isolationist...the only time they've ever bothered to waddle over has been when they've wanted us to remove trees or stray bits of grass clippings from their property. Such is suburbia. I fail to see how having an immaculate green yard and spotless kitchen floor can somehow make one a better person, but these people apparently think this way.

The youngest sister, Sara, works at the library as a page and talks about the creepy repeat patrons. One man, who she has dubbed, "foot fetish man", has a habit of asking random women and employees about their shoes and then asking them to take them off so that he can get a cheap thrill. Another one, who Sara calls "Looking for Ebony love", is a portly, Caucasian middle aged business man, who routinely trolls the personal ads on the internet computers for young African-American men.

My personal favorite employee is a female, whose name escapes me right now...she looks not unlike Thelma from Scooby Doo, and even has matching eyewear.

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