I tried to hang myself this morning.
I feel suicidal, but I'm trying to change it. Life seems hopeless and pointless beyond belief.
Why can't I hold it together long enough to get a job, or better yet, get into the Peace Corps and make a difference in the lives of someone besides my own.
I have an enormous amount of self-loathing and low self-esteem induced narcissism...I want to feel superior to...
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Why can't I hold it together long enough to get a job, or better yet, get into the Peace Corps and make a difference in the lives of someone besides my own.
I have an enormous amount of self-loathing and low self-esteem induced narcissism...I want to feel superior to...
Read More
If Death was like warnings on prescription drug bottles
Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death:
1. rigor mortis
2. a rotting smell
3. occasional drowsiness
If you die, do not panic, instead follow these instructions:
1. Do not operate heavy machinery.
2. Do not operate a motor...
Read More
Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death:
1. rigor mortis
2. a rotting smell
3. occasional drowsiness
If you die, do not panic, instead follow these instructions:
1. Do not operate heavy machinery.
2. Do not operate a motor...
Read More
sharona1881:
*hugs* sorry ive been so out of it lately 
These were my friends.
They were the sort of girls that parents referred to as trouble, with barely concealed distain and clenched teeth. Had one bothered take a glance at their early childhood progress reports, one would have found many mentions of disrupting behavior in class and tendencies to talk out of turn.
Most often than not they came from broken homes, where...
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They were the sort of girls that parents referred to as trouble, with barely concealed distain and clenched teeth. Had one bothered take a glance at their early childhood progress reports, one would have found many mentions of disrupting behavior in class and tendencies to talk out of turn.
Most often than not they came from broken homes, where...
Read More
Trifecta
ROB
Friday night, 15 January
They had to coat Melindas head with Vaseline. They slid her through the narrow doorway to her office. This was all that Serge (as we are supposed to call him not Sergei) could think to use to lubricate the doorway.
When found later, by itself, with the top off, next to a drunken Melinda, it fueled the gossip that...
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ROB
Friday night, 15 January
They had to coat Melindas head with Vaseline. They slid her through the narrow doorway to her office. This was all that Serge (as we are supposed to call him not Sergei) could think to use to lubricate the doorway.
When found later, by itself, with the top off, next to a drunken Melinda, it fueled the gossip that...
Read More
I
I charmed her with my breakdown stories. As if these are things to be proud ofas if, as if, as if. She was certainly impressed. Impressed that I had in fact, drank kerosene and survived it. Tell me more, she said.
So I told her everything. Told her about every bad meal. Every fight in the day room. Every shock treatment. Every person I...
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I charmed her with my breakdown stories. As if these are things to be proud ofas if, as if, as if. She was certainly impressed. Impressed that I had in fact, drank kerosene and survived it. Tell me more, she said.
So I told her everything. Told her about every bad meal. Every fight in the day room. Every shock treatment. Every person I...
Read More
If I were a film star, I'd be a silent movie film star from the 20s. Probably Clara Bow.
I would drink too much and engage in sordid sex scandals. I would have short bobbed hair and smoke cigarettes out of a long cigarette holder. I would dive, intoxicated, into fountains and hang out with prominent men who wore stinky, shedding racoon coats and slicked...
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I would drink too much and engage in sordid sex scandals. I would have short bobbed hair and smoke cigarettes out of a long cigarette holder. I would dive, intoxicated, into fountains and hang out with prominent men who wore stinky, shedding racoon coats and slicked...
Read More
part one of short story.
if you want to read this, you'll have to take the part I posted yesterday and put it on top of this draft.
sorry about that, but SG journals won't let me edit.
The annual conference of young adult radicals came together, officially, in an undisclosed location in the southwest. I, being in the know, can tell you that it...
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if you want to read this, you'll have to take the part I posted yesterday and put it on top of this draft.
sorry about that, but SG journals won't let me edit.
The annual conference of young adult radicals came together, officially, in an undisclosed location in the southwest. I, being in the know, can tell you that it...
Read More
geckogirl:
oh no problem. i've been sleeping (after staying out too late for that birthday party) and then writhing in pain from an angry uterus. 
squidbizkit:
if you go to update. then the date of your journal. you can edit your journal. it just doesnt tell anyone you edited like in a thread.
I had panic attacks all day long...and all the way back from Atlanta.
I leaned my hair out the car window and tried to puke, but all I could do was dry-heave. Have you ever had days before where, at their sweaty and trembly conclusions, you feel limp and exhausted?
The world swirled around me and the only thing I could think was...I have...
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I leaned my hair out the car window and tried to puke, but all I could do was dry-heave. Have you ever had days before where, at their sweaty and trembly conclusions, you feel limp and exhausted?
The world swirled around me and the only thing I could think was...I have...
Read More
It has been a long time since I've hung out with a group of extremely heterosexual men. I can understand how you females out there might find it a nice break from the swirling drama and head games.
What you see is what you get, and although this hyper-critical, elite side of me sees fit to criticize them at every turn...there's something oddly comforting about...
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What you see is what you get, and although this hyper-critical, elite side of me sees fit to criticize them at every turn...there's something oddly comforting about...
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short story excerpt...something I'm working on...
The Evil Queen draws these men into her fold easily. They quickly collapse at the knees and beg for punishment. They are sufficiently trained to follow the plan of the manifesto, and begin taking upper level management jobs within the inner works of the machine.
During the numerous training and promotional videos that we are required to view for...
Read More
The Evil Queen draws these men into her fold easily. They quickly collapse at the knees and beg for punishment. They are sufficiently trained to follow the plan of the manifesto, and begin taking upper level management jobs within the inner works of the machine.
During the numerous training and promotional videos that we are required to view for...
Read More
World on a String
You know I lose
You know I win
You know I call for
The shape I'm in
It's just a game
You see me play
Only real
in the way
that I feel
from day to day
Although the answer
is not unknown
I'm searching, searching
And how I've grown
It's not alright
to say goodnight
and the world
on a...
Read More
You know I lose
You know I win
You know I call for
The shape I'm in
It's just a game
You see me play
Only real
in the way
that I feel
from day to day
Although the answer
is not unknown
I'm searching, searching
And how I've grown
It's not alright
to say goodnight
and the world
on a...
Read More
[Edited on Jul 27, 2005 12:49AM]