c6h12o6

So.

I've finally hit rock bottom. My past has caught up with me.

I have no job. My bills are due. I cannot find a job. I cannot find a way to get money. I've sent out resumes, gone on interviews, I just can't find a job.

I've spent a few hours crying my eyes out to no avail. Cursing myself for fucking up my life and dragging my beautiful wife into it. She deserves better.

I'm not wallowing in pity, because I AM actually trying to find something.

The only thing I have is a job in California for 10 dollars an hour. But we can't afford to move there. And 10 dollars an hour out there will just screw us over even more.

I am well and truly fucked. I wish my wife would just leave me because I am no good for her at this point in my life. Why should she suffer?

I am at my lowest point ever, have noone and nowhere to turn to and I feel as though the weight of the world is pressing down on my shoulders.

I do not know what is next.....