1. As *nsync would say, "God must have spent a little more time on you." What, exactly, did God spend more time on?
God spent a lot of time on me, but still I managed to be not perfect. Huh.
2. If you had to start your own war against something, what would it be and why? Also, what would the protesters do in protest, to show they think your war is evil?
I'd start my own war against...............................Organized religion because it just somehow seems to mess everything up. And the protesters would walk around waving signs of their organized religions.
3. In the movie of your life, who would play you and who would play your lover?
Me: Brad Pitt. Her: Angelina Jolie
4. What flavor of diet coke do you next want?
I'm with tehpeanut on this one. Something that doesn't taste diet.
5. Insert picture of what you think is the best.hair.ever.
Just look at my profile pic.
6. If girls had penises and boys had vaginas, who would you date/fuck?
I'd probably be dating/fucking brad pitt for his sexy snatch.
7. Have you ever farted in public? if so, what were the circumstances?
No. Never. Ever. What's a 'fart'?
8. Tell one crazy "I can't believe how drunk I was" story.
I got really drunk after my prom back in 1998 and slept underneath a pooltable and then threatened people with the poolstick to shut up and sleep. Then I practiced drunk tai-chi to the rising sun.
9. Ideal Christmas stocking?
Intel powered Mac notebook.
10. Who is Britney Spears' soul mate?
Me.
11. What is the one book you think everyone should read?
The Fuck Up by: Arthur Nersesian
12. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh? Liar.
280. Seriously. Yeah.
13. Ever puked and run? Tell us your story, then join our club.
Yeah. I had a whole bottle of Absinthe and was puking and running ALL NIGHT long.
14. Tell one "too tired to finish masturbating" story, then join our club.
Well, I was masturbating and I got too tired to finish....and that's that.
15. Write down three true facts, and one lie. Don't tell us which one is the lie.
I am bald.
I am sexy.
I belong in a loony bin.
I love Suicide Girls.
16. Insert your favorite cute/cuddly picture (just to make us smile).
Again, look at my profile pic.
17. If you cooked a dinner for someone you were head over heels in love with, what would you cook?
Artichokes, turkey parmesean, linguine, and tossed salad.
18. If you had to write something on your forehead and walk around with it all day, what would it be?
I'm not a nazi and I don't have cancer.
19. What is your favorite piece of art, and would you please post a picture of it below?
Look at my profile pic again. Because I'm too lazy to post something.
20. Would you have sex with Xena, Warrior Princess? What would it be like? Also, if you said no, are you crazy? What are your reasons for declining?
Sure I'd do it. Why the hell not? I could tell everyone I had sex with Xena.
21. Whats your favorite animal? show us.
My dog Ben. Look in my pics.
22. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?
Black. Because its the color of my heart and soul.
23. What turns you on? If it invovles a ball gag, please describe.
Lingerie, Lingerie, Lingerie
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dumb is it to decline the above question by answering 'that's too personal' ?
10
5. Why are ball gags sexy?
Because it's a ball and its a gag. Duh.
26. Do you have any personal opinions on ice trays?
Yeh- get a fucking icemaker. I hate my ice trays. I mean, FUCK.
27. What's the most painful thing you've ever had done to you/done to another person during sex?
Ass slapping and nipple biting.
28. If you had to be stranded for the rest of your life on a desert island and pick one person to go with you, would you pick someone you could really talk to or someone who gave you the best sex of your life? If you say both, you're a fucking whore.
Yes, I too am a fucking whore. I'd pick Anne (my wife) because I CAN do both with her. And if I couldn't I'd kill her and eat her flesh to survive.
29. What is the biggest insult someone could tell you?
If someone said I just wasn't pretty. I am too!
30. If you were/are a big dyke, would you wear the strap on or would your partner
Hmm....I'd wear it.
Tag five people: the next victims are...this is immoral. I can't tag anyone. I have a personal vendetta agains tagging.
V...is for....Vendetta.
God spent a lot of time on me, but still I managed to be not perfect. Huh.
2. If you had to start your own war against something, what would it be and why? Also, what would the protesters do in protest, to show they think your war is evil?
I'd start my own war against...............................Organized religion because it just somehow seems to mess everything up. And the protesters would walk around waving signs of their organized religions.
3. In the movie of your life, who would play you and who would play your lover?
Me: Brad Pitt. Her: Angelina Jolie
4. What flavor of diet coke do you next want?
I'm with tehpeanut on this one. Something that doesn't taste diet.
5. Insert picture of what you think is the best.hair.ever.
Just look at my profile pic.
6. If girls had penises and boys had vaginas, who would you date/fuck?
I'd probably be dating/fucking brad pitt for his sexy snatch.
7. Have you ever farted in public? if so, what were the circumstances?
No. Never. Ever. What's a 'fart'?
8. Tell one crazy "I can't believe how drunk I was" story.
I got really drunk after my prom back in 1998 and slept underneath a pooltable and then threatened people with the poolstick to shut up and sleep. Then I practiced drunk tai-chi to the rising sun.
9. Ideal Christmas stocking?
Intel powered Mac notebook.
10. Who is Britney Spears' soul mate?
Me.
11. What is the one book you think everyone should read?
The Fuck Up by: Arthur Nersesian
12. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh? Liar.
280. Seriously. Yeah.
13. Ever puked and run? Tell us your story, then join our club.
Yeah. I had a whole bottle of Absinthe and was puking and running ALL NIGHT long.
14. Tell one "too tired to finish masturbating" story, then join our club.
Well, I was masturbating and I got too tired to finish....and that's that.
15. Write down three true facts, and one lie. Don't tell us which one is the lie.
I am bald.
I am sexy.
I belong in a loony bin.
I love Suicide Girls.
16. Insert your favorite cute/cuddly picture (just to make us smile).
Again, look at my profile pic.
17. If you cooked a dinner for someone you were head over heels in love with, what would you cook?
Artichokes, turkey parmesean, linguine, and tossed salad.
18. If you had to write something on your forehead and walk around with it all day, what would it be?
I'm not a nazi and I don't have cancer.
19. What is your favorite piece of art, and would you please post a picture of it below?
Look at my profile pic again. Because I'm too lazy to post something.
20. Would you have sex with Xena, Warrior Princess? What would it be like? Also, if you said no, are you crazy? What are your reasons for declining?
Sure I'd do it. Why the hell not? I could tell everyone I had sex with Xena.
21. Whats your favorite animal? show us.
My dog Ben. Look in my pics.
22. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?
Black. Because its the color of my heart and soul.
23. What turns you on? If it invovles a ball gag, please describe.
Lingerie, Lingerie, Lingerie
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dumb is it to decline the above question by answering 'that's too personal' ?
10
5. Why are ball gags sexy?
Because it's a ball and its a gag. Duh.
26. Do you have any personal opinions on ice trays?
Yeh- get a fucking icemaker. I hate my ice trays. I mean, FUCK.
27. What's the most painful thing you've ever had done to you/done to another person during sex?
Ass slapping and nipple biting.
28. If you had to be stranded for the rest of your life on a desert island and pick one person to go with you, would you pick someone you could really talk to or someone who gave you the best sex of your life? If you say both, you're a fucking whore.
Yes, I too am a fucking whore. I'd pick Anne (my wife) because I CAN do both with her. And if I couldn't I'd kill her and eat her flesh to survive.
29. What is the biggest insult someone could tell you?
If someone said I just wasn't pretty. I am too!
30. If you were/are a big dyke, would you wear the strap on or would your partner
Hmm....I'd wear it.
Tag five people: the next victims are...this is immoral. I can't tag anyone. I have a personal vendetta agains tagging.
V...is for....Vendetta.
tehpeanut:
yay you didd it.... 