c456

-) its minus 3 outside
-) my paycheck doesnt cover my bills
+) i have a job interview in my field!
+) school starts monday
-) art shows application in less than 3 weeks
-) i miss my red jacket
+) i slept in a pool of blood last night
it kept me warm
++) it wasnt mine



thinking of running away

when the guilt wears off silence strikes?
no home here anymore.

why did i come back?
oh yes i remember
so when the guilt wears off silece strikes.

<the air is sacred here>
<in spite of your claim>

so those beautiful shoes i mentioned yesterday are mine mine mine
only mine are better they have the ballerina ribbons

i lovegravity pope

i also got to hang out with asreal all day it was sooo much fun

YOU ROCK

and long distance phone messages make me smile

but not as much as your arrival

and i have a surprice..

but it will have...
Read More

when are you going to grow up?

everything that happened to me
today
was a reminder of how terrible this life
has become

while playing with a 2 year old at work today i casualy mentioned to his father that i really miss kids and that i really enjoyed teaching preschool
he looks at me up and down and sais

"and now you sell clothes" and walked away



my self worth is...
Read More

i hate dishonesty

i have a secret to tell...


i didnt watch the carmen elektra show, no i didnt, but i want to have a morgue pic taken of myself
with the expiry tag on my big frozen black toe. looking straight into the camera with blank eyes

who wants to be my photographer???

(yes i will be naked)

nevermind a happy ending
will you just hold me when i wake up from my nightmares?