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c456

Canada

Member Since 2003

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Friday Nov 11, 2005

Nov 10, 2005
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I don't want to go to Toronto

I don't want to go to toronto. I don't want to go. All of the blocks are square. None of the streets are twisted. None of the streets are paved with bricks. There's too many elevators in Toronto, not enough stairs in Toronto. Not enough stairs! All of the food in Toronto is made of edible oil products. They don't have bagels in Toronto - they have donuts! Donuts made of edible oil! I don't like donuts. They don't have bagels. I don't want to go to Toronto. People don't have faces in Toronto - they have cigarette ads instead. They listen to your phone calls. There's a tower in Toronto that controls people's minds!! It's illegal to possess brightly coloured balloons in Toronto! Illegal to own brightly coloured balloons! All of the children in Toronto must wear suits. Even the girls, three-piece suits! The buildings in Toronto have no windows! I don't want to go!! Everyone lives in subterranean caverns filled with donuts made of edible oil. I don't want to go!! Nobody goes to the bathroom in Toronto - they have a special operation, they have it removed surgically. There's a tax on all wicker goods in Toronto. There's huge buildings with no windows on streets with no curves and inside you find little girls in suits running around with black balloons and muching on edible oil products. The kids don't have names, they have numbers which are assigned to them at birth! They're called.. 387.7! 412.9! And they all have cigarette ads instead of faces! I dont't want to go to Toronto!! I don't want to go! I have plenty of wicker goods, I don't want a tax on my wicker goods! I like going to the bathroom, I don't want to go to the hospital! I don't want to go to Toronto! I don't want to go! Do I have to go to Toronto? Do I? Do I have to go? I don't want to go!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
murkling:
If I subscribe to your newsletter will you be able to afford not to go to Toronto?
Nov 10, 2005
char1es:
Toronto is a truly horrible city. It combines the worst characteristics of New York, Los Angeles, and Ottawa, with absolutely none of the redeeming features.

It is a soul-less slum, ghettoized by race, by wealth, even by age.

Surrounded by decaying belts of post-industrial wasteland, filled with robotic commuters, and united only in it's love of money, and disdain for humanity.

I would rather live anywhere else on earth.

Don't go.
Nov 11, 2005

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