It's been a while since I've posted a new blog.... and I feel that today is an appropriate day to do so.
My grandmother passed away this morning after her kidneys shut down yesterday.
I know she has been wanting to "go" for quite a while, and I know these last few years especially have been very difficult for her. And although I know she's finally at peace (I'd even go so far as to say she's "in a better place" even though I'm agnostic), I still feel very sad that she's gone. I had a really hard time seeing her last night to say goodbye. She was unconscious and on morphine for the pain, and it seemed like she was struggling to breathe. It was heartbreaking for me. That's kind of why I couldn't bring myself to go see her over this last year at the nursing home, to see her in such a deteriorating state was almost unbearable for me. My dad (whose mom it was) would go to see her everyday. I asked him a week ago how she was doing and he told me "Not so good." At that point, I walked right over to a sheet of paper and wrote her a note telling her how I've been and that I loved her and missed her. I just had a strong feeling that I had to do that right then or I'd be sorry.... and I'm glad I did. I wanted her to know that I loved her very much, and I hope she understood why I couldn't bring myself to go see her... I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for my grandpa, dad, and my dad's siblings. So there's this strange feeling of sadness, but also glad that she's not suffering anymore. I found this quote I really liked about death too, and posted it on my Facebook when I got home from seeing her last night.
"People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad." ~Marcel Proust
I really like it, and feel like it's quite relevant.
On a lighter note, I was offered a new job today. The parent company of my company is taking on all the functions of our office, so the 14th is going to be my last day. It's not totally horrible, since I'm obviously getting paid for my time until the 14th plus they're giving severance pay which will be great since my boyfriend and I have been trying to get our new house cleaned and painted before we move in. So going straight from one job to a new (and better paying) one, hooray! So work, school, relationship (which is going MARVELOUSLY, and I love him with every fiber of my being
), new house..... just a whole hell of a lot lately. I need a vacation or something **sigh**
Farewell for now SG-Land, I shall talk to you again soon.
My grandmother passed away this morning after her kidneys shut down yesterday.
I know she has been wanting to "go" for quite a while, and I know these last few years especially have been very difficult for her. And although I know she's finally at peace (I'd even go so far as to say she's "in a better place" even though I'm agnostic), I still feel very sad that she's gone. I had a really hard time seeing her last night to say goodbye. She was unconscious and on morphine for the pain, and it seemed like she was struggling to breathe. It was heartbreaking for me. That's kind of why I couldn't bring myself to go see her over this last year at the nursing home, to see her in such a deteriorating state was almost unbearable for me. My dad (whose mom it was) would go to see her everyday. I asked him a week ago how she was doing and he told me "Not so good." At that point, I walked right over to a sheet of paper and wrote her a note telling her how I've been and that I loved her and missed her. I just had a strong feeling that I had to do that right then or I'd be sorry.... and I'm glad I did. I wanted her to know that I loved her very much, and I hope she understood why I couldn't bring myself to go see her... I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for my grandpa, dad, and my dad's siblings. So there's this strange feeling of sadness, but also glad that she's not suffering anymore. I found this quote I really liked about death too, and posted it on my Facebook when I got home from seeing her last night.
"People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad." ~Marcel Proust
I really like it, and feel like it's quite relevant.
On a lighter note, I was offered a new job today. The parent company of my company is taking on all the functions of our office, so the 14th is going to be my last day. It's not totally horrible, since I'm obviously getting paid for my time until the 14th plus they're giving severance pay which will be great since my boyfriend and I have been trying to get our new house cleaned and painted before we move in. So going straight from one job to a new (and better paying) one, hooray! So work, school, relationship (which is going MARVELOUSLY, and I love him with every fiber of my being
), new house..... just a whole hell of a lot lately. I need a vacation or something **sigh**
Farewell for now SG-Land, I shall talk to you again soon.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
appreciateher:
Sorry to hear about your loss . I have been away from the boards for a while. Be happy knowing that your Grandmother is no longer in pain. She is at peace and her soul rests where things don't change and time doesn't matter .
hiro:
I hope you find yourself in better spirits right now. Like you said, summer is here, so I think it'll be alot nicer to get out and breath in some awesome air up in the wilderness! Taking a positive step forward! Hope the new job is going well for you 