So I'm back. Left unexpectedly. Returned unexpectedly. How I do.
Firstly, I'd like to thank the mysterious person who reactivated my account, making this 3-month SG reunion possible. Thanks mysterious stranger.
This brings me to a good opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings that I've been having about SG, my past experiences with it, and my contemplation of any further relationship.
I first discovered the Suicide Girls when I was 19, I came across their first book in Borders by chance, and was immediately engrossed in it. I could relate very much to the idea of the contemporary pin up girl, especially one that looked like all the girls I considered to be truly beautiful. Girls like all of my best friends, colorful, dark, quirky, the adjectives could continue for some time.
At the time I had just been in a car accident, a roll down a hill that nearly cost me my left eye and left three sharp lines, one across my eyebrow that has since faded, and two that run along my cheek, to remind me to be grateful of my sight. When I learned of Amina I was especially inspired. While facial scaring is no where near as physically confronting as losing part of a limb, I had spent the better part of a year hearing "what happened to you?" from total strangers upon first glance. I was facing criticism and judgement from my doctor, as well as my parents for refusing plastic surgery to "fix" the scar. I wanted it, as a mark of an important lesson.
I admired how Amina not only embraced her body as it was, but made art with it. I found it arrestingly beautiful.
I didn't really decide to send in some photos until I found myself in a bit of wild streak, looking for a way out of something too complicate to elaborate on. I have enjoyed parts of this community very much. Especially the girl group. I have found other Suicide Girls and members here who really inspired me such as Twwly, Flux, and countless other amazing artists. I have seen a lot of evidence that a woman can be strong in owning her sexuality while expressing it publicly.
I have also seen a lot of evidence to the contrary. I have witnessed some very unkind words spoken especially in regard to the physical appearance of the female members of this community and this saddens me to no end. I have seen a lot of women get really nasty and competitive with each other, when I was hoping to find a tribe of fierce tattooed warrior goddess who would be each other's champions. That's the danger of expectations I guess.
Plus it's a lot of work to go pink, or even to be hopeful. Lately my life has blessed me beyond words and I don't really know if I want to sacrifice so much time to be paid to be nekkid on the internet. Ironic timing too, since I feel better about my body than ever before.
I am also happily married to my soul mate. He is a king among men, and especially of my heart. I can honestly say that he turns me on over and above all other men. I must also confess that the thought of another man touching me, or even fantasizing about touching me is frankly repulsive to me. No offense men, I'm sure you're all wonderful and all. It's just, I've found my mate and I'm very content with just him seeing me naked and appreciating all the nuances of my sexuality.
Twwly has to be the SG that inspires me the most these days. I read her blog, and apart from the eating animals and butt loads of snow, I dream and pray that my life will be much like her's: Lived on the land, gently. Growing lots of my own food. Lots of animals and some beautiful babies too. I'm content with the run I had as a sex pot, it's time for me to do something else now.
I'd prefer you remember me how I was in my last set. My husband shot it when we were new lovers. There is so much sincere joy in my face. It's funny how sometimes you make something and you realize what it meant later. I chose a rather outlandish costume, and then I stripped naked in an open desert. I was shedding the SG persona, which didn't fit me, and becoming my natural naked self. Which y'all didn't want how she was, and so she moved on.
Looking forward to catching up with some folks, and enjoying a more laid back role in this community.
namaste,
byrd
Firstly, I'd like to thank the mysterious person who reactivated my account, making this 3-month SG reunion possible. Thanks mysterious stranger.
This brings me to a good opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings that I've been having about SG, my past experiences with it, and my contemplation of any further relationship.
I first discovered the Suicide Girls when I was 19, I came across their first book in Borders by chance, and was immediately engrossed in it. I could relate very much to the idea of the contemporary pin up girl, especially one that looked like all the girls I considered to be truly beautiful. Girls like all of my best friends, colorful, dark, quirky, the adjectives could continue for some time.
At the time I had just been in a car accident, a roll down a hill that nearly cost me my left eye and left three sharp lines, one across my eyebrow that has since faded, and two that run along my cheek, to remind me to be grateful of my sight. When I learned of Amina I was especially inspired. While facial scaring is no where near as physically confronting as losing part of a limb, I had spent the better part of a year hearing "what happened to you?" from total strangers upon first glance. I was facing criticism and judgement from my doctor, as well as my parents for refusing plastic surgery to "fix" the scar. I wanted it, as a mark of an important lesson.
I admired how Amina not only embraced her body as it was, but made art with it. I found it arrestingly beautiful.
I didn't really decide to send in some photos until I found myself in a bit of wild streak, looking for a way out of something too complicate to elaborate on. I have enjoyed parts of this community very much. Especially the girl group. I have found other Suicide Girls and members here who really inspired me such as Twwly, Flux, and countless other amazing artists. I have seen a lot of evidence that a woman can be strong in owning her sexuality while expressing it publicly.
I have also seen a lot of evidence to the contrary. I have witnessed some very unkind words spoken especially in regard to the physical appearance of the female members of this community and this saddens me to no end. I have seen a lot of women get really nasty and competitive with each other, when I was hoping to find a tribe of fierce tattooed warrior goddess who would be each other's champions. That's the danger of expectations I guess.
Plus it's a lot of work to go pink, or even to be hopeful. Lately my life has blessed me beyond words and I don't really know if I want to sacrifice so much time to be paid to be nekkid on the internet. Ironic timing too, since I feel better about my body than ever before.
I am also happily married to my soul mate. He is a king among men, and especially of my heart. I can honestly say that he turns me on over and above all other men. I must also confess that the thought of another man touching me, or even fantasizing about touching me is frankly repulsive to me. No offense men, I'm sure you're all wonderful and all. It's just, I've found my mate and I'm very content with just him seeing me naked and appreciating all the nuances of my sexuality.
Twwly has to be the SG that inspires me the most these days. I read her blog, and apart from the eating animals and butt loads of snow, I dream and pray that my life will be much like her's: Lived on the land, gently. Growing lots of my own food. Lots of animals and some beautiful babies too. I'm content with the run I had as a sex pot, it's time for me to do something else now.
I'd prefer you remember me how I was in my last set. My husband shot it when we were new lovers. There is so much sincere joy in my face. It's funny how sometimes you make something and you realize what it meant later. I chose a rather outlandish costume, and then I stripped naked in an open desert. I was shedding the SG persona, which didn't fit me, and becoming my natural naked self. Which y'all didn't want how she was, and so she moved on.
Looking forward to catching up with some folks, and enjoying a more laid back role in this community.
namaste,
byrd
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
I only asked since you are the owner of the Raw Foods group. I considered starting a vote for a new owner a while back since you had left the site. I figured the group is so inactive even a vote thread wouldn't get much activity and I was interested in owning. I really enjoy the group but it definitely needs an active owner to keep it alive.
Oh and thank you for the compliment on my picture!