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byrd

I'm lost

Hopeful Since 2006

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Sunday Dec 31, 2006

Dec 31, 2006
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sigh. i feel like the only times i work up energy to type on these things is when i feel the need to bitch. but i'm going to resist this urge right now, and take a moment to remind myself that there is a hell of a lot of good happening in my life right now.
great job, fun band, bellydance class starts up again this friday, the lease on my shoe box apt is up soon. i have some good books to read, and time to read them, no school for one more week, and yeah i still have my health. so yay. o. and i finally found a real photographer to shoot my next set, so that's REALLY exciting.
i don't really believe in new years resolutions, but i've been kicking around a few hopes for 2007. to eat less sugar, it's so bad. to stay away from ciggarettes, yes, even when i feel grouchy. to travle and see some more live music. to hold my head up high in every bar here, and stop sweating whether so and so at the end of the bar is mean muggin me over some stupid shit i did back in when i was 19 and going through my slut phase. or back when i was 21 and the bars were my oyster. fuck em. i ams who i ams, and i'm sick of avoiding certain social circles over some bullshit that nobody probably remembers and even if they do, so what? it's not like any of my silly immature decisions that took place years ago make me a bad person.
and like margaret cho once said: where's my parade? what about slut pride?
it's not like i even consider myself to be a slut. but when you live in a town that's as small as mine, it happens that you accrue a certain number of partners in a smaller circle. and i've been blessed to have outgrown that bullshit. but here on the last western frontier, where the cowboy mentality is still so alive and well, you'd think i'd drowned a baby, or burned down buildings. or maybe i am just imposing some guilt upon myself. at any rate, i'm going to remind myself that i am not that girl anymore, and it's time to stop being so fucking reclusive.
so happy new year 2007. i'm going to get baked and clean my house. after which, i promise to do something fun.
ARRR!!!
caffeinemonkey:
Sounds like a pretty good life to me. And everyone has some shit to bitch about. But often that shit is what makes life interesting.
Good luck on eating less sugar (did you know in 1906 the average American ate a total of a cup of sugar a year. Today the average American will consume a cup of sugar in two days). And everyone knows cigs are bad for you. Smoke to get high not to die wink
Have a wonderful New Year's!



Dec 31, 2006

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