buzzhum

This last weekend I helped a friend move her stuff into storage. It wasn't just me, but a handful of guy friends like myself. Jeanette has been plagued with health issues that basically come down to her sensitivity to the bad air in Atlanta. She sold her house and is moving, for the moment, to the beach to get her energy and health back.

I've been tight with her for around 2 years now, or something like that. Shes been a tremendous friend. She was always "definately" there for me, and her other freinds, when she was needed. Shes a tad bit of a freak like myself , and in that way we really bonded. I was more then welcome to be open without being judged for being a little diffrent. Even if it didn't blend, and vice versa I might add with me to her, there was acceptance.

Well, we got all her stuff in storage and went the a cool spot where shes always hung out (The Earl). She bought us all lunch and beers as a thanks. It hit me there (as she began orders shots) that this was it. We are saying goodbye. Fucking makes me goddamn sad as I write this...fuck fuck fuck. Anyway, I left with my friend Jason shortly after that, chosing to not take shots and get all involved in that aspect of the afternoon/evening. We were tired as hell anyway, but I was motivated to get out before things got emotional.

As I was driving home it occured to me that it made me feel better to call it farewell instead of goodbye. Then I began thinking about the term "farewell". Yes..it applies perfectly here. Please fare well in your adventure. Please get better. I have a bad habit of letting physical distance create emotional distance. I lose touch with people I care about. Not in a matter of weeks or even months. After a few years though I am always sad that I am not tight withsomeone that was once a cornerstone of my dialy life. On the flip side Ive also found that when reunited for a weekend or pleasent relocation, my friendships have always fit like great pair of shoes that you find pushed under yoru bed since last year. It always feels like no time has passed. ITs good like that..though I don't know what makes it like that.

Last time Something like this happened..I wrote a powerful song. It was one of those that I wrote right there in the midst of it happening. I woke up the next morning (helped this friend move out of state) after the brutal long ass over night drive, and started writing. I wrote it in a furious hurry as the words seemed to be readily waitng and needed no extra pondering. I finished it just as she woke up and came into the room I had stayed in, rubbing her eyes and saying goodmorning. She was persistant and I resistant, but I did finally share it and we fuckign balled our eyes out. No suprise it turned into a ballad that was the most popular song we ever recorded. Also...I never spoke to her again. In the gay ass sappy reality of the title of the song..It was a 3 day goodbye.

So..I'm fucking sad and sitting at the office holding back all these currents of emotion. I bid Jeanette farewell. It doesn't have that sense of finality that way. Our freindship was just that, and not more. The kind of relationship that made my last girlfriend uneasy, when actually it was Jeanette that helped me navigate my troubles with her, because I could be so honest while still being private.

Take care of yourself...