I know it has been ages since I blogged.. or really been properly active like I use to...
Guess I really just wanted to explain a little.
For those whose have been following my SG journey since the beginning will know that I have had a long time partner of nearly 5 years, who became my wife nearly 2 years ago and that our relationship was amazing..
Well I HAD a wife...
Over 2 months ago my wife left me..not the first time either. The first time was last year in November when she fired me from her cafe that I had been helping run and told me she didn't love me anymore.
Moving on to 4 months later and she leaves again with the words 'I want to do, what I want to do, when I want to do it, without having to think about you'
OBVIOUSLY there is more to it than that, those were really rough 4 months.. and it was actually quite shocking for me.
I believed we could make it through anything, I mean we were married, we said till death do us part, through sickness and in health, through good and BAD times. We always said our struggles made us stronger and we could always work it all out. So i'm still not overly sure what changed there for her.. because I still believe these things..
So mostly I havent been in a very good place.. lots of drinking, drugs, crying..spending hours wondering what I had done wrong or why she wouldn't come back to me..
If you follow my instagram you would know I was in LA with SGbabes at the shoothouse and all up in the madness of the newly started Blackheart Burlesque Tour, as well as going to Vegas for Viva Los Vegas Rockabilly weekend. That time away was a life saver, I came back feeling a little bit stronger, slightly healed and ready to get on with my life and my dreams.
It still hurts, a lot. Some days are better than others. I've been home for 2 weeks and have also been really sick. The only reason I have time to write this is because im bed ridden with a respiratory infection. But I am feeling like I am ready to get back into the world and start following my dreams again! I did some amazing shoots over in LA and Vegas which I will share with you when they are ready, I have some more travels coming up and I feel like I know I will be okay..
I only took my wedding band off last week.. I kept it on because I wasnt ready, I wasnt going to let friends pressure me, I knew once I took my ring off it would mean something, it would mean it was over.
BUT I am discovering new things! like living on my own for the first time in my life.. well with my kitty Ron! I bought my own bed and mattress and put it all together! I pay rent by myself now which is hard but am saving in things like food, cleaning up and electricity. As wella s not having a car anymore since she took that with her, which I don't mind as I actually quite like the bus and walking places.
So I am sorry for my absence I really do hope you understand. I hope to be around more now, especially with another set coming out in over a month! Thank you to those who have stuck around, it means the world to me.
<3
