I didn't think I was going to participate in this @bloghomework in till this morning experiencing in interaction on instagram that has made me think otherwise...
so thanks as always @missy @rambo @lyxzen
so I posted this photo last night after my stream on the hopefuls periscope..
I didn't think much of it.. in till I had this conversation with a lovely instagram user Yellowklahzet
Now my heart sunk when I saw her first comment.. it has BEEN years since I've someone straight up ask me about my scars...and even though I wear a lot of booty shorts and skirts even my closest friends thought they were stretch marks.. clearly the weirdest stretch marks ever as theyre going in the wrong direction but still STRETCH MARKS.. from the people who know me best..
I fucking wish <_<
Anyway.. I was pleasantly surprised at her none douche bag response to my confirming the scars on my legs..
I saw the blog topic trending on the front page again and I was just like.. I want to share this..
as I said in the photo these scars are a decade old.. made when I was 13-24 and at a time that I wrote about in my last blog Sg diary dream from 14yr old Cherry
Anyway, these scars have shaped me in so many ways.. and not so much the reasons behind the actions but how I have handled my confidence and reactions to my scars since.. NOW I know mine arnt that bad.. I know girls with worse, covering their arms and more of their legs and stomach.. I have people in my life, I love people who have worse.. I know this
This does not make mine any less meaningful to me now or even make my pain then less real because I had someone help me stop.. my first girlfriend asked me to stop and I loved her so much that I did.. and thats what I hold onto when I think back to that relationship.. dont get me wrong I slipped afterwards.. over silly things.. things that felt important at the time..
These have shaped a huge part of my confidence now especially being a dancer, constantly dancing in tiny dance shorts and having to handle stares, people pointing or asking point blank in a big group of people.. I find these things have shaped me more than the initial cutting..
getting through what happens after the pain is so much more than the pain itself..
I have NEVER touched on this here on SG in fact I went out of my way to NOT post about it.. but its been a long time since someone has made me aware of them in a public space and I felt it was about time..
I trust you SG community and I wanted to share this with you.
your recovery defines you so much more than anything else!! hold on to that if you're in a bad place right now..
Love you guys..
hope you enjoy my homework!
<3
