For the first time in my life the new year really terrifies me.. Like a number of things over the past 6 months have taken away alot of my courage, confidence and self, leaving me with this overall lost sense of being. I dont know where to find answers. I have no idea what Im doing with myself even though I just completed my bachelors, I dont have a job, I don't know what I like doing and I honestly don't think Im any good at anything anyway.. Like my whole life everything I try Im always jsut average at it ya know? Like im not super talented at anything.. even when I put years of work into it..
This mind set really isnt me, I am usually super confident especially in myself. I've never been to this dark scary place before that makes me stay in bed and hide from the world.. well its been a long time anyway and I dont know how to handle it as an adult, argh I hate this feeling. Its the voices in my head before I go to sleep that reminds me of all these failures and haunts me with idea that ill never do anything with my life.. Im not motivated, Inspired or determined Im plain out right down on everything..
Even my all the time perfect relationship is having some issues and Im holding onto this relationship with dear life like its the only thing Im good at and Im loosing it.. blah as much as Im loving travelling as always I think I need to get home and sort myself out -_-
