The verdict is in, I have officially lost my mind. At least that is what most people might think. I was sitting at work, bored out of my freaking mind when it hit me. I am not happy with my job, I am bored with what I do, I dont see the value in what I am doing, it is not fulfilling to me. Then I logged into one of my classes only to find my accounting professor being a total dick to me. I really want to go off and rip him a new one but I didnt. Instead I calmly sent an email to my advisor to see what could be done about the situation. I also proceeded to tell my advisor that I would like to change my major asap. I figured why am I going to school for something I know I dont want to do? And I damn sure am not going to put up with some asshole for a class that is ultimately useless to me. It took everything I had within me to not get up and walk out of my job. I really want to just call in tomorrow and say, oh yeah and I wont be back. If I had a plan figured out about what I would do, I would do this. But the bottom line is the bills have to be paid and my job takes care of that. I will start looking for something different though. I have this feeling that I am wasting my life on things that do not make me happy and I know that is not the life I want to live. I am not going to bust my ass giving 110% effort on a bunch of shit that ends up making me unhappy in the long run.
A part of me really thinks I may have lost my shit. But a bigger part of me knows that I am just sick of all the bullshit. Being unhappy is a waste, so why have I done it for so many years. From this point on the focus changes. No more doing what everyone else thinks is best for me, its time to do what I know is best for me.
So now I am off on my adventure as crazy as it may sound!
A part of me really thinks I may have lost my shit. But a bigger part of me knows that I am just sick of all the bullshit. Being unhappy is a waste, so why have I done it for so many years. From this point on the focus changes. No more doing what everyone else thinks is best for me, its time to do what I know is best for me.
So now I am off on my adventure as crazy as it may sound!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
darkriver:
You haven't lost your mind at all!!! Actually, just the opposite is true! You have decided to make your life what you want it to be, and it sounds as if you are already taking steps to realize that for yourself! I say Yay to you, those are big decisions and changes, but for the better!!! Would you rather come home after work dejected because it's just the daily grind, or happy because you are living the life and doing the job that you actually want to do? When we go on our weekend rides, and I ask you how your week was, you should be excited to share the stories from a great work week, not feeling blah because of a sos workweek! So no. You have lost nothing, you have gained your focus!!! 
padre:
Doesn't sound like you lost your mind, in fact it sounds like the exact opposite. You had a moment of clarity, an epiphany if you will. All those things sounded like a real headache but they did help you to realize you have to change something. And it's good change so my hats off to you 