I'm naturally more reserved in an unfamiliar environment. Unfamiliar could mean the venue, the unpredictable schedule of events, or the crowd of people (It could also be my own internal feelings at the moment). If I'm without purpose and also alone in an environment where it's the opposite for everyone else, the feeling could be likened to be thrust upon a stage with no lines or solid directions.
In recent years, when I've been confronted with this situation, I've employed that tactic of cutting my teeth with a group. The skill is to find the group of least resistance. It is often a matter of paying attention. I will take a moment to notice superficial novelties, find the group's energy, overhear the topics of conversation or get the sense they are eager for someone to approach.
While this is the similar to how I would approach most groups, it is a much more passive approach. Instead of receiving the attention of the group on the approach, I slip in with a comment or by asking a question - all supporting the current conversational thread. Adopting their behaviors or topic of conversation allows me to more easily infiltrate the group. I can interact with or isolate the attention of one or two participants. I can slowly add more to the conversation, be reminded of stories or jokes that I can start to share. When I sit here now and think about the words I used to talk to people this past weekend, I am unable to remember. It is rare that I plan the course of the conversation or plan my lines - relying on me to bring it on the night.
I gestate within the safety of the group. If I am not genuinely interested in the conversation I will excuse myself before the situation becomes awkward, when I feel confident, or I receive an overt indication from another group that I should approach.
From this point I am much more forward. I have most likely gotten over any anxiety and gotten a hold of my surroundings. I will approach groups much more directly now, commanding attention from the start, directing the tone, changing the topic or setting the energy.
The rest of the evening is often an avalanche of interactions that started with this single, simple sacrifice.
There are huge benefits from throwing myself into the first group: perception of less social pressure approaching this group, will often make me less awkward; the group and I are usually interested in the interacting and they often enjoy the gesture of approaching; acceptance by one group often leads other groups to accept you; this initial group can always as a home-base of sorts for the rest of the evening.
In recent years, when I've been confronted with this situation, I've employed that tactic of cutting my teeth with a group. The skill is to find the group of least resistance. It is often a matter of paying attention. I will take a moment to notice superficial novelties, find the group's energy, overhear the topics of conversation or get the sense they are eager for someone to approach.
While this is the similar to how I would approach most groups, it is a much more passive approach. Instead of receiving the attention of the group on the approach, I slip in with a comment or by asking a question - all supporting the current conversational thread. Adopting their behaviors or topic of conversation allows me to more easily infiltrate the group. I can interact with or isolate the attention of one or two participants. I can slowly add more to the conversation, be reminded of stories or jokes that I can start to share. When I sit here now and think about the words I used to talk to people this past weekend, I am unable to remember. It is rare that I plan the course of the conversation or plan my lines - relying on me to bring it on the night.
I gestate within the safety of the group. If I am not genuinely interested in the conversation I will excuse myself before the situation becomes awkward, when I feel confident, or I receive an overt indication from another group that I should approach.
From this point I am much more forward. I have most likely gotten over any anxiety and gotten a hold of my surroundings. I will approach groups much more directly now, commanding attention from the start, directing the tone, changing the topic or setting the energy.
The rest of the evening is often an avalanche of interactions that started with this single, simple sacrifice.
There are huge benefits from throwing myself into the first group: perception of less social pressure approaching this group, will often make me less awkward; the group and I are usually interested in the interacting and they often enjoy the gesture of approaching; acceptance by one group often leads other groups to accept you; this initial group can always as a home-base of sorts for the rest of the evening.