Okay I have two points to this blog.
#1 I LET PEOPLE WALK ALL OVER ME. (ESPECIALLY WOMEN)
First off I have never been good a making friends. In grade school I had one friend who was not first a child of someone who was a friend of my parents. There were other people who would talk to me or play with me, but only because I was there. No one went out of their way to get to know me, I was weird (and I still am). So by the time high school came around my group of friends expanded to maybe half a dozen people. Of those I talk to two of them occasionally through face book, when I send a message, or if I call them. No one ever calls me. But this is just giving you a primer of my current situation. You know where the story starts so you can see where it goes.
Now I know I am not the most social person at work, and I have been too poor to go out to the bar and such for the past six months. But the fact that I have stopped be invited, or even told when people are going out doesn't sit well with me. I might not do the same job that most everyone else does at work but to be cut out of the social circle of going out after work hurts. It's a small office there are like 4-6 of us in my age range who sometimes go out. And I knew one person was being pissy with me and not inviting me, but when other people start making plans and not inviting me it hurt.
And this time of year is rough, because last year I tried to plan my own birthday party with help from my girlfriend. It was at Dave and Busters. And ONE PERSON SHOWED UP. Many other did RSVP. One person showed up with a minor and was upset she couldn't get in. But yeah how is that for a kick in the teeth. On your own birthday and you get only one person to show up. I knwo that most of the people I interact with socially are either co-workers, a few people from here on SG, and then people I know through my GF.
But looking at the people I know now, there are people who I invest time and effort into only to turn around and them tear me apart on a regular basis. But i keep going back and try to make nice with them. And I think there is a big part of me who is afraid not answer when they call because then they might not call again.
The second point I will make another time. But for now I am glad to get this off my chest. I think I need to re-examine my sense of self worth and rediscover it. I think part of it right now comes from being broke. Which I am fixing.
#1 I LET PEOPLE WALK ALL OVER ME. (ESPECIALLY WOMEN)
First off I have never been good a making friends. In grade school I had one friend who was not first a child of someone who was a friend of my parents. There were other people who would talk to me or play with me, but only because I was there. No one went out of their way to get to know me, I was weird (and I still am). So by the time high school came around my group of friends expanded to maybe half a dozen people. Of those I talk to two of them occasionally through face book, when I send a message, or if I call them. No one ever calls me. But this is just giving you a primer of my current situation. You know where the story starts so you can see where it goes.
Now I know I am not the most social person at work, and I have been too poor to go out to the bar and such for the past six months. But the fact that I have stopped be invited, or even told when people are going out doesn't sit well with me. I might not do the same job that most everyone else does at work but to be cut out of the social circle of going out after work hurts. It's a small office there are like 4-6 of us in my age range who sometimes go out. And I knew one person was being pissy with me and not inviting me, but when other people start making plans and not inviting me it hurt.
And this time of year is rough, because last year I tried to plan my own birthday party with help from my girlfriend. It was at Dave and Busters. And ONE PERSON SHOWED UP. Many other did RSVP. One person showed up with a minor and was upset she couldn't get in. But yeah how is that for a kick in the teeth. On your own birthday and you get only one person to show up. I knwo that most of the people I interact with socially are either co-workers, a few people from here on SG, and then people I know through my GF.
But looking at the people I know now, there are people who I invest time and effort into only to turn around and them tear me apart on a regular basis. But i keep going back and try to make nice with them. And I think there is a big part of me who is afraid not answer when they call because then they might not call again.
The second point I will make another time. But for now I am glad to get this off my chest. I think I need to re-examine my sense of self worth and rediscover it. I think part of it right now comes from being broke. Which I am fixing.
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btw, I believe I won't be going to Prom this year too.