Kaylee: "Everybody's got somebody..." (wistfully) "Wash, tell me I'm pretty..."
Wash: "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee: " 'Cause I'm pretty?"
Wash: " 'Cause you're pretty."
Kaylee: "Thank you. That was very restorative."
---
Mal: "We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."
---
Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
---
Mal: "Cut her down."
Villager: "The girl is a witch."
Mal: "Yeah, but she's our witch-" (cocks gun, points it at him) "-so cut her the hell down."
---
Inara: "So, explain to me again why Zoe wasn't in the dress?"
Mal: "Tactics, woman! Needed her in the back. 'Sides, them soft cotton dresses feel kind of nice. There's a whole airflow."
Inara: "And you would know that because...?"
Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I'm a mystery."
Inara: "Best keep it that way. I withdraw the question."
---
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
---
Book: "What are we up to, sweetheart?"
River: "Fixing your Bible."
Book: "I, um...(alarmed)...what?"
River: "Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics - doesn't make sense." (she's marked up the bible, crossed out passages)
Book: "No, no. You - you can't...
River: "So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem."
Book: "Really?"
River: "We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat." (rips out page)
---
Book: "Yes, I'd forgotten you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?"
Simon: "No. But I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist."
---
Wash: "I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey."
Mal: "Listen..." (beat) "She swore to obey?"
Wash: "Well, no, not... But that's just my point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!"
---
Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."
---
River: "Also? I can kill you with my brain."
---
Jayne: (wearing ugly homemade hat) "How's it sit? Pretty cunning,
don'tchya think?"
Kaylee: "I think it's the sweetest hat ever."
Book: "Makes a statement."
Jayne: "Yeah, yeah!"
Wash: "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything."
Jayne: "Damn straight."
---
Mal: "You know, it ain't altogether wise, sneaking up on a man when he's handling his weapon."
Inara: "I'm sure I've heard that said. But perhaps the dining area isn't the place for this sort of thing?"
Mal: "What do you mean? Only place with a table big enough."
Inara: "Of course. In that case..." (rearranges guns) "Every well-bred petty crook knows -- the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting."
---
Zoe: "No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated -- this job's strictly speculative."
Jayne: "Good. 'Cause I don't know these folks, don't much care to."
Mal: "They're whores."
Jayne: "I'm in."
---
Wash: "Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?"
Zoe: "Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up."
Wash: "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it."
---
Mal: "But she does have an oddness to her. And I ain't just talking about her proficiency with firearms. Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't. Things she couldn't."
Jayne: "Wha-...are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?"
Wash: (sarcastically) "Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast."
Jayne: "She's in Congress?"
Wash: (amazed) "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious."
---
Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."
Zoe: "We live in a space ship, dear."
---
Mal: You know, you ain't quite right.
River: It's a popular theory.
---
River: No power in the 'verse can stop me.
Wash: "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee: " 'Cause I'm pretty?"
Wash: " 'Cause you're pretty."
Kaylee: "Thank you. That was very restorative."
---
Mal: "We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."
---
Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
---
Mal: "Cut her down."
Villager: "The girl is a witch."
Mal: "Yeah, but she's our witch-" (cocks gun, points it at him) "-so cut her the hell down."
---
Inara: "So, explain to me again why Zoe wasn't in the dress?"
Mal: "Tactics, woman! Needed her in the back. 'Sides, them soft cotton dresses feel kind of nice. There's a whole airflow."
Inara: "And you would know that because...?"
Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I'm a mystery."
Inara: "Best keep it that way. I withdraw the question."
---
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
---
Book: "What are we up to, sweetheart?"
River: "Fixing your Bible."
Book: "I, um...(alarmed)...what?"
River: "Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics - doesn't make sense." (she's marked up the bible, crossed out passages)
Book: "No, no. You - you can't...
River: "So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem."
Book: "Really?"
River: "We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat." (rips out page)
---
Book: "Yes, I'd forgotten you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?"
Simon: "No. But I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist."
---
Wash: "I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey."
Mal: "Listen..." (beat) "She swore to obey?"
Wash: "Well, no, not... But that's just my point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!"
---
Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."
---
River: "Also? I can kill you with my brain."
---
Jayne: (wearing ugly homemade hat) "How's it sit? Pretty cunning,
don'tchya think?"
Kaylee: "I think it's the sweetest hat ever."
Book: "Makes a statement."
Jayne: "Yeah, yeah!"
Wash: "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything."
Jayne: "Damn straight."
---
Mal: "You know, it ain't altogether wise, sneaking up on a man when he's handling his weapon."
Inara: "I'm sure I've heard that said. But perhaps the dining area isn't the place for this sort of thing?"
Mal: "What do you mean? Only place with a table big enough."
Inara: "Of course. In that case..." (rearranges guns) "Every well-bred petty crook knows -- the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting."
---
Zoe: "No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated -- this job's strictly speculative."
Jayne: "Good. 'Cause I don't know these folks, don't much care to."
Mal: "They're whores."
Jayne: "I'm in."
---
Wash: "Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?"
Zoe: "Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up."
Wash: "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it."
---
Mal: "But she does have an oddness to her. And I ain't just talking about her proficiency with firearms. Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't. Things she couldn't."
Jayne: "Wha-...are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?"
Wash: (sarcastically) "Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast."
Jayne: "She's in Congress?"
Wash: (amazed) "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious."
---
Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."
Zoe: "We live in a space ship, dear."
---
Mal: You know, you ain't quite right.
River: It's a popular theory.
---
River: No power in the 'verse can stop me.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
*vroom vroom*