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burne

Member Since 2003

Followers 14 Following 18

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Monday May 02, 2005

May 2, 2005
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one.
I haven't had this much, but I really dislike it when people call me "a great person" that just pisses me the fuck off" it never encourages me, or makes me feel any better. you don't even know me? I could be a total asshole for all you know, but I'm a "great" person. what did I do. I'm not Martin Luther I'm not even Martin Luther King. I'm just a person. I'm alittle bit of asshole, alittle bit of kindness, and alot of pent up aggrestion

two.
you ever hear that statement about how your body is designed to do a job for humanity or whatever, and the minute you retire, or give that job up, you die? I just want to do this book, and hopefully 4 more, and it's just roadblock after roadblock. school is finshed for me...for like 8 days. then I have summer school...horrible I say..horrible.

three.
next year will be my 25th birthday, and like Micheal Jackson. I realized that I haven't had that much of a childhood, or better yet, a very fullfilling young adulthood. I'll be honest, I was very conservative at a young age..like 12. I could see all the angles of making bad descions, and when I did make them. I felt guilt like you never know. my brother is the opposite, he was like fuck-up manifested. anyway I was very wanna-be-sexual even though I had no girlfriend and I was (still am) a social retard. I came to think about a normal young adult especally the "think that your in love, and losing your virginity" part and since I was "always seeing the angles" I choose not to loose my virginity in such a reckless matter. since then you'd think that no one would like me enough to actually consider sex with me. oh no my friends I have had since my first real kiss (at 17) about 5 times to loose it and I've come to a revelation:

I have severe emotional attachment problems.

all those times "seeing angles" has limited any chance at wrong decsions, impulse mistakes, and any of the other shit that can happen when you are blinded by love, or the illusion of it, or anything at that fact. for what is better than failing, it helps me learn at least.

it's like what happens when you see all the angles and never play a hand? whats the point? thats where I am right now. it's not depressing to me, but I need a welcomed change. something that will make me foward-think. i need ambtion. a muse. something. a somewhere maybe, anyone? anybody.

VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
ultraman:
not to ruin your day, but...

shit doesnt get any better when you get out of school & into "the real world". its just as cutthroat & sinister

you just have to do you & not trip off others & what may become of those relationships. when you believe you are an all-around 'great person', forune will fall in your lap.

footnote...you can be an aggressive asshole & still be a great person. wink

just say fuck em! mad shocked biggrin
May 11, 2005
southernbelle:
I'd love to help you out!!! smile

Just because you are a great person, doesn't mean you can't become greater!! wink
May 12, 2005

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