burne

The worst thing about not having someone, for me, is having really in depth conversations about life, and love, and everything. weither it be cuddling, or at a diner, or a cafe. sharing my life seems to be the hardest thing to share on here, cause it's not sporadic. like now, I came on and I wanted to type this, instead of, you know, just saying it. having someone there, holding you, or listening, and saying yeah thats cool, or well, what about it this way is something that I miss, even though I never had it. somedays I wish I had a plane ticket and went to see my SG friends (you know who you are) and just go to a diner and talk.

everyday I wake up, and I'm like theres so much to life, but I can't do it right now. I have college, I have my book, I have school work, and on top of that I need a job. I want real moments is what I want. I want to pass by a girl I seem attracted to, and just talk about life. I don't want any "woulda, coulda, shoulda's" ya know. I want life. I want to live it, and it kills me sometimes that I observe so much, instead of "do".

I mean, I could give you an excuse. I can say that by drawing, and homework, and procrastanation. I've become so used to being alone, and somewhat anti-socal, that it's become a way of life, but thats all I have are these excuses.

I suppose I want those moments, where the rest of the world is on pause. in between those moments are life, and the day to day routine of stagnation. I suppose life is:

good moment--------(life)--------bad moment-------(life)-- good moment---bad moment----------(life)----------
and at this time i'm at the "life" part but maybe tomorrow is a good moment, or a bad moment....or maybe it's just more life.

i guess I'll just have to wait til tomorrow