bunnypudding

Of course there is a reason why I rejoined SG. Rather bore you with some self indulgent, wordy lead up I will just get to it, my boyfriend flies off to a war zone in two weeks time.

Just writing that actually made me think about it. odd as partly, by rejoining SG, a bit of me was actively procrastinating against sitting and considering this fact. Odd I know, but it's the truth.I have known for months that this was going to be happening, making plans (as in not making plans) and well talking about it as if it was normal, it is happening and it will be over, and hey, i even spent some of that time wishing it was happening now rather be stuck in the limbo of the ebbing event actually becoming reality.

But I actually never really thought about it, not the little things.Not the actual things that will matter. Of course he may die, of course I wont be having sex for bloody ages, of course I will get lonely and miss him. I just only this minute realised that the worst part would be knowing that I won't have that feeling in my belly every Thursday when I know hes coming back. I wont smell him in the morning and I wont smell him in my bed after he goes back. I wont find an endless trail of socks stroon across the bedroom floor to steal and pretend that I haven't made sock puppets out of ( I admit nothing) I won't get annoyed at him for making a mess(which is mine).I won't be able to use him as my emotional punching bag for that one week of every month where he deserves it for his lack of womb (to be fair it is rather lazy...) I won't play washing up chicken with him (to be fair if I did that would make one huge pile plates over 6 months) and I won't wake up snuggled into his stinky armpit every morning.

*BUT*

He is going to be allowed to grow a moustache and is starting up a pipe smoking club when over there.

BEST WAR EVER.


Night Night
xx