Hey all!
Im going to share a little story of my past today, this tale is from my time as manager of an adult video/toy shop called Xcitement Video.
Confessions of a former pornstore clerk - Part 1
It was a cold day in December, Halifax had just seen its first major snow storm of the year, we had a foot of snow covering everything and I was stuck working a double at the shop from 9am till 11pm. Time tends to go a lot faster at any retail store when your serving customers and I was fairly good at informing my clientele about the pros and cons of various lubes and toys, but it was setting up to be a fairly miserable day. The storm pretty much killed any foot traffic and apart from my few regulars I likely wouldnt have much in the line of human contact that day.
I had a co-worker coming in from 6-10pm to help me with the "rush" so it really came down to me killing time until re-enforcements arrived. Now I like my alone time as much as the next guy but one can only pretend to work for so long before he starts to go a little stir crazy. I put away the rental returns, sorted the condoms, straightened up the toy displays, practiced juggling vibrators, vacuumed the floors, shoveled and salted the doorway.. This killed about an hour. I spent the next 2 doing the accounting and making the store schedule, I was a very bored bunny.
Finally around 2pm or so, the door opened. I hadnt had a customer yet that day and I was more than a little excited at the prospect. Sadly it was just the Fed-Ex guy but he did bring me a few boxes of products from my suppliers. It wasnt a customer but it was better than nothing, at least it would help shave off another hour from my now never-ending day. After the Fed-Ex guy left, I set myself to my task of entering our new products into the inventory and displaying them. Now we have always received some products that made me chuckle (the inflatable sheep, the crucifix dildos, the pocket pussy built into the shape of a foot, etc..) but this time what I found in the second box killed me.
They had sent a giant red buttplug that was roughly the size of a fucking football.. And they honestly named it "The challenge". I had been working there for close to 4 years at this point, I had mastered the art of keeping my composure while selling all manor of hilarious items to people but this was different. How the fuck was I going to keep a straight face when someone decided to buy this monstrosity.. I mean, up-selling the good lube would be easy but not saying "So your up for the challenge?" as I hand over their purchase.. I wasnt sure I could handle that. I finished receiving the rest of the toys, took "The Challenge" out of its sales package and started looking for a place to display it as some sort of store mascot.
I pretty much sat staring at this giant red missile until my co-worker arrived. He thought I was holding some type of nerf football (it wasnt uncommon for us to bring in games to amuse ourselves with) and instantly asked me to throw him "the ball" So I did. He was more then a little confused after he caught the pass, it took him a few moments to register that it was in fact a football sized butt plug. He also noticed that the store was empty and after he got over his laughing fit, he tossed back then ran down the dvd isle and yelled "Im going long!" starting the first game of butt plug football at the shop.
We only had 5 customers that whole day and made a massive 47 dollars or so, but I still vividly remember that shift. It was one of the more challenging ones.
Ah.. Memories!
Let me know if you found this even slightly amusing! If so I guess Ill have to write more(keep in mind I have no idea how to write, so they can only get better with time lol)
Laters Internetz
Im going to share a little story of my past today, this tale is from my time as manager of an adult video/toy shop called Xcitement Video.
Confessions of a former pornstore clerk - Part 1
It was a cold day in December, Halifax had just seen its first major snow storm of the year, we had a foot of snow covering everything and I was stuck working a double at the shop from 9am till 11pm. Time tends to go a lot faster at any retail store when your serving customers and I was fairly good at informing my clientele about the pros and cons of various lubes and toys, but it was setting up to be a fairly miserable day. The storm pretty much killed any foot traffic and apart from my few regulars I likely wouldnt have much in the line of human contact that day.
I had a co-worker coming in from 6-10pm to help me with the "rush" so it really came down to me killing time until re-enforcements arrived. Now I like my alone time as much as the next guy but one can only pretend to work for so long before he starts to go a little stir crazy. I put away the rental returns, sorted the condoms, straightened up the toy displays, practiced juggling vibrators, vacuumed the floors, shoveled and salted the doorway.. This killed about an hour. I spent the next 2 doing the accounting and making the store schedule, I was a very bored bunny.
Finally around 2pm or so, the door opened. I hadnt had a customer yet that day and I was more than a little excited at the prospect. Sadly it was just the Fed-Ex guy but he did bring me a few boxes of products from my suppliers. It wasnt a customer but it was better than nothing, at least it would help shave off another hour from my now never-ending day. After the Fed-Ex guy left, I set myself to my task of entering our new products into the inventory and displaying them. Now we have always received some products that made me chuckle (the inflatable sheep, the crucifix dildos, the pocket pussy built into the shape of a foot, etc..) but this time what I found in the second box killed me.
They had sent a giant red buttplug that was roughly the size of a fucking football.. And they honestly named it "The challenge". I had been working there for close to 4 years at this point, I had mastered the art of keeping my composure while selling all manor of hilarious items to people but this was different. How the fuck was I going to keep a straight face when someone decided to buy this monstrosity.. I mean, up-selling the good lube would be easy but not saying "So your up for the challenge?" as I hand over their purchase.. I wasnt sure I could handle that. I finished receiving the rest of the toys, took "The Challenge" out of its sales package and started looking for a place to display it as some sort of store mascot.
I pretty much sat staring at this giant red missile until my co-worker arrived. He thought I was holding some type of nerf football (it wasnt uncommon for us to bring in games to amuse ourselves with) and instantly asked me to throw him "the ball" So I did. He was more then a little confused after he caught the pass, it took him a few moments to register that it was in fact a football sized butt plug. He also noticed that the store was empty and after he got over his laughing fit, he tossed back then ran down the dvd isle and yelled "Im going long!" starting the first game of butt plug football at the shop.
We only had 5 customers that whole day and made a massive 47 dollars or so, but I still vividly remember that shift. It was one of the more challenging ones.
Ah.. Memories!
Let me know if you found this even slightly amusing! If so I guess Ill have to write more(keep in mind I have no idea how to write, so they can only get better with time lol)
Laters Internetz
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
kyoko:
Thank you 
vastpalette:
Thanks! That's encouraging to hear 