I don't share this with anyone really since it's kind of embarrassing. So what better place to write about it then here, where no one knows me?
Anyway, when I was about three years old I started to develop a lazy eye. That's when one doesn't cooperate with the other and drifts to one side uncontrollably. I had to have surgery to correct it. Once again, when I was about six, it started happening again and once again I had to have corrective surgery to "fix" it. It was fine for a few more years but once again it came back.
I think my parents thought it would eventually "fix" itself or that God or someone was going to heal it. (They were religious) Either that or they got tired of paying for it. What ever their reasoning was they let it stay that way for much longer this time. It wasn't until I was in high school and super self conscious about it until my mom finally decided to give it another shot. My dad had been out of my life for years by that point but that's another story all together.
I was in the tenth grade, I believe, and the doctor decided to work on both eyes instead if just one. They basically go in and tighten the muscles around the eyes until they are aligned.
It's been a long time since then and now my eyes are still straight. I couldn't be happier about that.
There's an incredible down side though. Since my parents let my eyes go untreated for so long, I got used to using them independently instead of cooperative. To this day I haven't figured out how to use them normally. Because of this it left me kind of visually impaired. My eyes have very little depth perception. I have a very hard time judging how far away or close things are to me which makes life incredibly difficult for me. It's left me with a ridiculous fear of heights as well since I never really know how high I am. I can't even see movies in 3D because of this. I don't really care so much about the 3D movies but it's an example of something simple that I cannot do.
Hopefully there will one day be some way of fixing what is wrong with my eyes but until then, this is my life.
I get by. At least I'm not in any kind of pain because of this and I know that things could be so much worse and for that I am grateful. My heart goes out to any one who is forced to suffer with disabilities.
I don't know if anyone will ever even see this or care to read the whole thing but I just wanted to share something personal about my life with this amazing community of awesome people. Thank you to anyone who reads it.
Have a great day!
P.S. Sorry for saying it was going to be a funny story. I have a weird way of coping with awful things in my life.
