i have finally finished that heartfelt meaningfull long ass entry that i have been talking about for a few days. well, here it is. please excuse my spelling, i was half asleep for parts of this entry.
the other night when i was trying to fall asleep i started thinking. we all get those "what if" questions we always ask ourself. that is what i was thinking about.
i was thinking.... what if i had stayed in the military before i got out? i got out march 2001 from active duty. i was working in a new job the morning of Sept 11th. we had the tv's on like normal. i saw what happened, and the first thought that came to my mind was "i need to call the base. i need to see what i can do." i did call the base, i wanted to talk to all the people that i had befriended in the military. before i left the military, they were my friends, my family. it was good to talk to them, and to hear what was going on thru their minds. but i already knew what was going on in thier heads. it was the same thing that was going on in mine.
i started thinking more what if questions. what if i was still at the base when this had happened? would i be sent overseas within a few days notice? who from the base would have gone overseas? what would we do if we had gone overseas? we would have done our job. that is something i know. it was what we were trained to do. no questions asked. we all had voulenteered to join the military. to do what we all had thought was the good thing to do. most of us had already been overseas to the middle east in support of operation northern watch, and operation southern watch. what if we had gone to afghanistan? we had already built real bombs, bombs that were dropped and had killed people. it was something we had already prepared for mentally.
i then began thinking to something more recent. the current invasion of Iraq. what if i was still in for 2003 when our men went off to the middle east? the possible scenarios started running thru my mind. i felt that i would never get to sleep peacefully.
i thought about what if i had gone over, what would my parents have thought? they never knew that i had already been over there in kuwait, saudi, and turkey before. i never told them when i went or came back. i just thought it was something that i did not want to tell them. for whatever reason, i thought it was best that they only knew i was in the military. i was moving on with my life at the time. i was grown up, and able to make my own choices and do what i wanted to do. and that i did not want to scare them by telling them that i was going overseas.
then i started thinking about all my friends. i never found out which ones had gone overseas after 9/11 or in early 2003. i havent been able to keep in touch with them. i dont know what has happened to them. i dont know how they were affected. i know you tend to lose touch with people over time, but these people i never wanted to lose touch with. everytime i open the paper in the morning, i go right to the Roll of Honor section and see who has paid the ultimate price for our freedom, and the freedom of others.
as of lately, with all this hatred of Bush, and people forgetting that our troops are still over there doing something that the rest of you arnt willing to do, makes me really consider re-enlisting back into the military. someone has to do it. and if most of america just wants to stand here, curse out president, and not do a damn bit of action against a war, then i feel that i should atleast go back, and do something about that.
i know most people that will read this will be people on the site that i have talked to in person, and know what kinda person i am, a quiet and to myself type of person, but i hope other people read this. i hope that people just stop for a moment, and think. think about something they can do, besides bash our president. do something to support our troops, our nation. people do die out there in war. its not just some image on tv that you see. if you have ever known someone that was ever involved in a conflict and served proudly in the military, the least that you can is thank them. thank them for doing a job that had to be done. and thank them for doing a job that no one else wants to do. no one wants to go to war. its just something that happens. it is something that will always happen.
i now leave you with a bit of humor, but also something serious that no one ever takes into account.
http://suicidegirls.com/media/groups/377/2260/23428.jpg
the other night when i was trying to fall asleep i started thinking. we all get those "what if" questions we always ask ourself. that is what i was thinking about.
i was thinking.... what if i had stayed in the military before i got out? i got out march 2001 from active duty. i was working in a new job the morning of Sept 11th. we had the tv's on like normal. i saw what happened, and the first thought that came to my mind was "i need to call the base. i need to see what i can do." i did call the base, i wanted to talk to all the people that i had befriended in the military. before i left the military, they were my friends, my family. it was good to talk to them, and to hear what was going on thru their minds. but i already knew what was going on in thier heads. it was the same thing that was going on in mine.
i started thinking more what if questions. what if i was still at the base when this had happened? would i be sent overseas within a few days notice? who from the base would have gone overseas? what would we do if we had gone overseas? we would have done our job. that is something i know. it was what we were trained to do. no questions asked. we all had voulenteered to join the military. to do what we all had thought was the good thing to do. most of us had already been overseas to the middle east in support of operation northern watch, and operation southern watch. what if we had gone to afghanistan? we had already built real bombs, bombs that were dropped and had killed people. it was something we had already prepared for mentally.
i then began thinking to something more recent. the current invasion of Iraq. what if i was still in for 2003 when our men went off to the middle east? the possible scenarios started running thru my mind. i felt that i would never get to sleep peacefully.
i thought about what if i had gone over, what would my parents have thought? they never knew that i had already been over there in kuwait, saudi, and turkey before. i never told them when i went or came back. i just thought it was something that i did not want to tell them. for whatever reason, i thought it was best that they only knew i was in the military. i was moving on with my life at the time. i was grown up, and able to make my own choices and do what i wanted to do. and that i did not want to scare them by telling them that i was going overseas.
then i started thinking about all my friends. i never found out which ones had gone overseas after 9/11 or in early 2003. i havent been able to keep in touch with them. i dont know what has happened to them. i dont know how they were affected. i know you tend to lose touch with people over time, but these people i never wanted to lose touch with. everytime i open the paper in the morning, i go right to the Roll of Honor section and see who has paid the ultimate price for our freedom, and the freedom of others.
as of lately, with all this hatred of Bush, and people forgetting that our troops are still over there doing something that the rest of you arnt willing to do, makes me really consider re-enlisting back into the military. someone has to do it. and if most of america just wants to stand here, curse out president, and not do a damn bit of action against a war, then i feel that i should atleast go back, and do something about that.
i know most people that will read this will be people on the site that i have talked to in person, and know what kinda person i am, a quiet and to myself type of person, but i hope other people read this. i hope that people just stop for a moment, and think. think about something they can do, besides bash our president. do something to support our troops, our nation. people do die out there in war. its not just some image on tv that you see. if you have ever known someone that was ever involved in a conflict and served proudly in the military, the least that you can is thank them. thank them for doing a job that had to be done. and thank them for doing a job that no one else wants to do. no one wants to go to war. its just something that happens. it is something that will always happen.
i now leave you with a bit of humor, but also something serious that no one ever takes into account.
http://suicidegirls.com/media/groups/377/2260/23428.jpg
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
move ON, already.