Cause I lost my job two weeks before Christmas
And I talked to Jesus at the sewer
And the Pope said it was none of his God-damned business
While the rain drank champagne

My Estonian Archangel came and got me wasted
Cause the sweetest kiss I ever got is the one I've never tasted
Oh but they'll take their bonus pay to Molly McDonald,
Neon...
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She touched me. I told her not to bother and pointed to my head. Disconnected. Vast desert. Bleached wasteland. Perfect state of null. My void doesn't want. Doesn't waste time. I am beyond misery. Beyond the reach of heartbreak. I feel nothing. I feel fine.

Henry Rollins, "Roomanitarian"

I have felt it in the past. Attraction to a woman. It always came with a certain measure of self-disgust. It happened recently. There I was with this woman. Not letting anything show. Not allowing one crippled display of vulnerability to register. Years ago, fear of rejection and eventual, long burning humiliation kept my feelings in check. Now it's different factors that keep my emotions...
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