Can anyone talk you into changing your own self image? I mean, how valid is someones opinion of you. You don't listen if they are talking shit, so why listen when they compliment you? Only you know why you do what you do. Only you know how much you really suck. Compared to others, you might be ok. But that has never mattered. This isn't a contest. You know how many times, sometimes on a daily basis, that you've let yourself down. You know how petty and selfish you really are. People can't know your motives sometimes and think both good and bad things about you depending on how they want to see it.
If this is true, then why do you care? There's no god above or devil below. No one understands you, and you know communication is just a series of misunderstandings. You hide your own dirty parts and dark corners in case someone is watching. But even if someone sees it there's no telling what they will think. And you just said it doesn't matter what they think anyway. Why do you hide? Why do you contrive? Why are you scared?
If this is true, then why do you care? There's no god above or devil below. No one understands you, and you know communication is just a series of misunderstandings. You hide your own dirty parts and dark corners in case someone is watching. But even if someone sees it there's no telling what they will think. And you just said it doesn't matter what they think anyway. Why do you hide? Why do you contrive? Why are you scared?
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I try not to rate myself or anybody else -- or let them rate me -- globally, as in "You did this, therefore you suck." It's more specific to particular efforts Like, "You botched that attempt, but you're still OK" or "You did well on that other thing, you can feel proud of your performance there." So neither insults nor compliments are anything to be taken too seriously, especially if they are broad.
For example, I don't think I am petty or selfish, although I know I have done some petty and selfish things. I've also done some high-minded and generous things. I bet you have, too.
As for "why care what they think": Well, it took me a lot of years to get to this point, but I don't hide much that I believe people might not approve of ... unless, that is, the person is someone I have to work with or whose good impression it's important to keep for some practical reason.
All easier to say than do, of course.
I am who I am, lucky me...my husband acknowledged and respected that.